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Original poster

EX threatening to ring the police - need some reassurance

16 replies

Newbabynewmum · 28/03/2011 22:35

My EXP was emotionally abusive and violent at times, he took drugs, went out and didn't return and was very controlling. I left when he started shouting at our 3mo DD to get her to stop crying & I discovered he was taking drugs.

(Just some background!)

I've tried supervising access but it has become impossible due to his behaviour. We are being referred to a contact centre - every night he has a go at me and is abusive because he wants to see DD before the contact centre is sorted.

Now tonight he says he is going to call the police tomorrow because I'm not letting him see DD until the contact centre is sorted. This is rubbish right? They wont take him seriously or do anything will they? I just need some reassurance. Thanks x

OP posts:
Meglet · 28/03/2011 22:37

I suspect they won't take him seriously. Do you have paper-work to show you are waiting for the contact centre? Or have the police already been involved with him?

Original poster
Newbabynewmum · 28/03/2011 22:53

My solicitor has lots of paperwork as she is referring us.

I hope they don't take him seriously, I'm sure they'll tell him to get a solicitor if he has a problem.

Ridiculous. Just ridiculous!

OP posts:
franksadad · 28/03/2011 23:39

im a single dad. IME police do not get involved in custody matters unless there is a breach of a court order. good luck stay strong :)

VioletV · 29/03/2011 11:11

Let him call the Police. Don't let this moron control you anymore. call his bluff.

Mamaz0n · 29/03/2011 11:13

Contact is a civil matter. the police deal with criminal matters.

let him call them and be made to look a fool when they tell him to grow up.

Original poster
Newbabynewmum · 29/03/2011 12:28

Thanks. I don't even think he has, but yes you're right.

I'm just ignoring him and I've told him to talk to my solicitor if he has anything to say.

OP posts:
Gonzo33 · 29/03/2011 14:17

I cannot add anything to the above advice, but wanted to offer a (((HUG))). I have been in your position and it is very hard sometimes not to smack the ex one

balia · 29/03/2011 19:10

Call the police yourself and report his threats and harassment. And then get your sol to write to him and tell him not to come anywhere near your house.

Good Luck and stay strong. Brew

Original poster
Newbabynewmum · 29/03/2011 19:35

Balia ive done just that. They are sending some officers round tomorrow to talk about it. I just wish he'd leave me alone, like a lot of people on here I'm sure!

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 29/03/2011 19:38

I'd advise getting an injunction or restraining order against him. The police will help with regards to how you do this.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 30/03/2011 11:59

Bear in mind that you can refuse him contact on the grounds of his drugtaking eg if he turns up intoxicated you can just take the DC away. You can also insist on drugs tests before he is allowed to see DC. No court will enforce a man's 'right' to see his DC when he is off his head on drugs.
Restraining order is a good idea as well. A lot of the stuff about 'fathers' rights' (which is interpreted by the court as the right of the chld to have a relationship with the father, not the other way round) goes out of the window when the father is an abusive drug addict.

Original poster
Newbabynewmum · 30/03/2011 22:51

The policewoman was lovely. They're going round to strongly warn him about his behaviour and if it continues I will move on to a harassment order.

I feel that I'm being a bit soft on him maybe, but I am much stronger than I have ever been. I am determined to have the best for my daughter.

Thanks for all your support. I'm getting there!!

OP posts:
NicknameTaken · 31/03/2011 13:33

Glad you're doing okay. My ex has called the police on me twice, once because he called five times in the course of an hour and I didn't reply (phone was in the other room) and once because I was late with the handover, which I had informed him about in person, by email and by text. The police have been nice about it - they know what's what.

snowmama · 02/04/2011 21:40

Glad to hear to hear things are getting sorted, my ex rang/rings the police and ss on a semi regular basis, all that happens is the police/ss check on me to see that we are ok.

Don't let him bully and harass you.

Original poster
Newbabynewmum · 04/04/2011 16:22

I need a moan, so sorry in advance. My EX is just so deluded!

I told him about my new contact phone I have and that I'll turn it on once a night if he needs to talk to me. He obviously doesny understand as he is still continually texting me on my old mobile. I will be getting him blocked if I can.

Our first contact centre session is this Saturday coming but today he's texting me asking when he can see our DD on his own. Deluded. Given everything that has happened and that we are only just starting a contact centre I don't know what he expects me to say.

The police haven't had a chance to talk to him because every evening when the try to go round he's out drinking. Then he keeps texting me at 12am, 5am etc.

Oh and he's got another woman moving in with him. I suppose that doesn't matter but I don't know if anyone feels like me. All of his love for DD is for show - he's like that - wants to show off about what a good dad he is. I wish he'd just give it up and leave us alone.

I think the reason I feel so down and out is party because my DD has a cold and woke up 7times last night. I don't really feel I can function today!

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 04/04/2011 16:26

IF he's texting you, then he's still harassing you. Move forward with the order.

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