not lonely but feel very left out and frustrated, such a pants situation!

[leftoutonmylonesome]

Not sure how this is going to come out but if all else fails least i've ranted!!

Basically my dd is 18 months and since she was a blob in my belly its just been me. No family and all of 1 friend(dont laugh) I dont want a fella or anything, i'm just finding not being able to do the little things really frustrating, and now i've notice it its grinding on me.

I admit its all silly things, like having my flat pack wardrobe in pieces for the last 3 weeks since its been delivered and i'm too weak to lift the doors let alone bugger about with it to get the whole thing together(friend cant help as has a spinal injury)

Or not being able to go to the gym/for a run. or to the pub every so often as if i asked my friend to babysit, i'd have no one to go out with!!

'Popping' to the shop is a thing of the past, as is getting to work on time or just getting out the house quickly in general.

I kno i should just get a grip and get over it. but is this really it till dd (hopefully) goes to uni???

Is there anyway that you could find a ttrustworthy babysitter? sometimes girls from local nurseries do babysitting for extra cash...?

i sympathise!! i have 5,but eldest is 16 so can hold the fort a bit...

I dont have/know anyone who could babysit, did actually look on a link from direct gov website for professional babysitter, but they charge a million and one pounds)ok slight exaggeration, but still was £40+ and thats before even getting out)

BLURGHHHHHHHH tell me it gets better?

Well....most local sweetshops have cards in the window offering babysitting services..but obvioulsy check references/experience etc
If i was in your situation I would call my local college (that runs childcare courses) and/or local nurseries and ask if there is anyone who would like a babysitting job.

It def gets better and believe me in the blink of an eye she will be off to preschool and then actual school!

Its always been just me and my dd, although I have got some family locally who do help out when they can. I would suggest you find lots of local toddler groups to get yourself along to so you can make some more mummy friends who can help you out from time to time.

oo i never thought of that, dd goes to nursery 3 days a week whilst i'm at work, never even crossed my mind to ask about in there, although she's been going since she was 8 months and havnt got anything more than a hello from any of the parents!

sorry for such a self indulgent OP!

Thank you too!!

as for flat packed wardrobe have a look for local handy man..... there are lots of handy men about who do odd jobs....look in news agent or local paper,or advertise at nursery etc and ask if you could borrow a dad for an hour! there will be a charge but im sure it wont take someone who as the strength long to do, and if you build up a trust you will always have some one to hand.

good luck with it all...........i put a screwdriver through my finger building flat packed drawers but i did it they arent perfect but i did it and im proud!!

oooo one more suggestion its gonna sound really daft look on youtube for how to build flat pack furniture tips!!!!

best of luck with it all..

reach out at nursery - is there a child your daughter mentions? maybe drop a note asking the mum if she would like a baby playdate?

start going to something like a baby swim class on weekends to try and get to know more parents

try mumsnet local ?

you need to build up a bigger network around your daughter so you get to do babysitting swaps - you could also advertise at nursery for this?

I've done two framed beds, two ikea units and moved house single handedly so I know how you feel. Given me a bad back!!!

But you sound very upbeat and like cestlavie says if you widen your circle a bit at nursery and some other toddler groups, perhaps coffee mornings at the church (not religious myself but I find these women are particularly friendly and knowledgable about all the local goingsons) then you will add to your circle of help.

I've started to realise that lots of women feel isolated, even the married ones. We tend to think it's just us single ones. So don't feel embarrassed reaching out. That's why they go to these things too, to make friends and talk to other mums about stuff and help eachother out.

I was in a babysitting circle where we paid each other with tokens. Maybe the elf and safety mob frown on that these days. It worked well, though.

It really does get better! I'm in a similar postition (moved to a new town when dd was tiny as Mum is nearby, but help from her is limited and unreliable) but my dd is now 6 and over the last year or so it has all got much easier. Partly because I've found a local mums group to do stuff with, and because dd has started going on playdates, birthday parties that I can leave her at for a couple of hours and even the occasional sleepover! Plus I only work 3 days a week so I now have 2 schooldays to myself.
When she was littler I used nursery nurses from her nursery for baby sitting for a night out - often the younger ones were up for a bit of extra cash in the evenings, and I knew she was with someone she knew and trusted.
Hang in there - it won't be nearly as long as you think before she's getting more independent and you'll have a bit more flexiblity in your life.

I've been both, single and not single parent, and now I understand the poorer outcomes for children from single parent families. You just have to work so much harder as a single parent. The children seem to lose out so much. Why anyone would do this by choice is astounding.