Am I still a lone parent, as I still feel like it!?

[Youngmum7]

I have been separated from DS's father for 2 years now, best decision I've ever made! I now have a new partner and we've been together for around a year and a half although we have been close friends for about 6 years. We don't live together and DP doesn't ever try and act like DS's 'new dad' or gets involved in parental duties etc. I still feel like a lone parent although I also feel a bit guilty as I'm not technically single and have the emotional support from DP.... What does everyone else think about this, would you still class yourself as a 'single parent' even though you're not single?

Hi Youngmum7, I'm not in a relationship at the minute but have been and classed myself not as a 'single' parent but a 'lone' parent, in other words the other parent isn't there.

I'm sorry you are in this situation, when I was in the relationship I certainly expected a certain level of support and did get it.

Are you happy with how things are?

I am happy with the relationship, happier than I have ever been to be honest, and DS and partner get on very well too as he has known DS since he was born, but I do wish we were more like a family or that my partner wanted to be more involved but feel that I'm being unreasonable expecting that as DS isn't his child, he has a father even though he isn't a very good one!

I am in a similar situation, I have been in a relationship with DP for four years but was a lone parent for five years before that. I still live separately from DP and while we have a great emotional connection and sex life, I do all the parenting and household stuff on my own - which I'm happy with. We have fun together as a family at weekends and holidays though and DS gets on well with DP.

I have never stopped seeing myself as a single parent though - I would only see us as a family if DP and I married or moved in together. It's not something either of us are interested in as we're both happy with our own space and keeping our finances separate.

I think it's really positive that you're able to manage the parenting alone and I think you're right not to push your DP to take on more responsibility than he feels ready to. Personally I have always preferred taking charge of the parenting and I think it's a bit of an old-fashioned idea that single mothers need to find a man to take on their children!