Let's have a thread about the GOOD things about being a lone parent

[electra]

I get to decide what the entire budget is spent on

I do not have to pick up my husband's jeans that he's literally stepped out of and walked away from

the house is the same when I come in as it was when I went out (no strangers / friends / people eating and making a mess in the spirit of hospitality)

It is somehow easier to cook dinner for one adult and three kids than for 2 adults, etc

I can go out without feeling I have to explain my actions :-) best feeling in the world.

when you are out in public and people comment on how well mannered your little boy is. I know thats all down to me and no one else!

Being a scum-of-the-earth single mum and my kids are STILL top of the class, up your bum Mr Cameron!

People always ask me if I have a boyfriend now (well it's been a few years.) I'd like to keep one round the corner for sexual purposes, but I sooo don't want to end up scrubbing the toilet after him cos he's left skidmarks. Sorry if TMI, but it's not what you envision in the early days, is it?

Deciding to go somewhere- to town, to Scotland, to LA, whatever- and not being stopped by a tidal wave of apathy and negativity. Joy joy joy.

I quite like it really.

i don't get pestered for sex all the time : )

Doing what you want, when you want to.

Bed to yourself.

Never having to explain yourself to anyone - about anything.

If I want to leave the washing up - I can.

And the best thing....not having to have his mother over whenever the mood takes her. Being able to speak my mind to her when she critisises me and the way she thinks I'm bringing my daughter up - rather than standing there agog that usless P stands there letting me get ripped to shreds making the shushing face and belittling me once she's gone when I stand up for myself.

Love these threads there was one not long ago and I hogged it with my list so I will just give my top one for now....hmmm the pressure to narrow it to one....got it ! Not being interrupted every 5th word into a conversation or being talked over !

• The flat is tidy.
• I can eat what I want, when I want.
• I don't have to watch Call of Duty ALL THE TIME.
• I can have my girlfriends round and act like a loon with them.
• I can raise my kids the way I want.
• My kids aren't yelled at and pushed away all the time.
• I can actually sleep in my bed without being disturbed.
• I can relax.
• People are once again telling me i'm beautiful.
• I am laughing/smiling more.
• Going where I like when I like.
• My shopping bill is smaller.
• I am thinner becuase I don't have somone pestering me to eat takeaways all the time.

Being a single parent is great because:

• my life is my own and I make all the decisions (perfect for a control freak like me!)

-my dd gets lots of lovely uninterrupted one to one time with me and I don't have to share her with anyone.

-when someone comments how lovely, beautiful and clever dd is I can take all the credit!

-I can feel proud of myself for holding it all together and and being a good mum.

-I am so glad not to be part of the smug married clique

Yes its tiring, stressful and lonely at times but there is something really special about being a single mum - we are amazing !!!

I agree with all the above posts.
What's not to like about being a lone parent?

I am able to parent consistently

I can plan to do lovely stuff with DC without an apathetic negative influence destroying our fun times

He does take them occasionally and I get childfree time. Prior to the split I did it all.

It's my money. I earn it and I spend it. Previously I earnt it and he spent it.

I come in after a long day at work and look after my DC. Occasionally the DC will look after me. Previously I'd come in and fight the chaos/atmosphere and service his needs as well as the DC

Basically I can put the DC first... it was always him :)

Oh yes, I love being able to make decisions about my children without consulting anyone! I do think there there are enjoyable aspects of being a lone parent.

i decide everything about what happens in my house and with my money.

i own the remote, the radio station, the bath, both sides of the bed, the car, the yummy snacks the wardrobe etc etc

i decide when i go to bed, what i eat, if i eat, when i eat, how much i eat, where i eat, when i go out, where i go out, who i go out with, how late i stay out, if i drink, how much i drink, whether i have a row or not, how much i spend, what i buy, what i dont buy, what i throw out, what i keep, how many pets i have, how much i spend on the pets.

i think the biggest thing for me is having that feeling that my home is once again a safe haven where i can be ME!! no having to suck my tummy in, watch what i say, watch what faces i pull. i can just totally relax at home. that is what home should be for, being totally at ease. i ouldn't do that before. i can now.

I can have a soak in the bath without anyone coming in, turning on the lights and blinding me in the process and having a dump on the loo just as I start to relax.

I can sleep without being woken up by snoring/kicking/smothering/getting too hot.

I can get in bed and not dread it when he suggests a bit of night time action.

I can watch what I want on the telly, and not crappy martial arts films or steven sodding segal.

I can watch a film, all the way through, in peace.

I can laugh at programs and not be told to "shhh".

I can turn the channel over when ever anyone sings.

I can have my candels on, and the fire on, and the heating on and not be moaned at.

I can walk around the hosue in my underwear without someone thinking it's a suggestion for nookie.

The kids are happier.

I'm the happiest I have been in a long time.

I can go out and not ask anyone (except the babysitter)

My food bill is smaller.

I'm not paying out for a car/replacement of parts/petrol/mot/insurance etc which is saving me a small fortune.

I can go to sleep in a quiet house where I cant hear him talking to his gaming mates via the headset.

NO MORE GAMES

No more on-line games

No more gaming subscriptions

No more picking up smelly socks/trousers/tools/boots.

No more nagging at him to have a fucking bath more than once a week.

No more hoovering up plaster dust that he's dragged in the house from work via the soles of his boots.

I dont need to paint the house as often as he's not here smoking us out and discolouring the walls.

I can make sure the bills and mortgage are now actually being paid.

Oh, there are soooo many.

not having to live in the same house as him anymore;
not having to put up with any of his 'stuff' - I rarely even speak to him now my DSs are old enough to communicate with him by text;
putting my PJs on as soon as I get home;
not having to put up with his grotty friends;
being able to watch romcoms and musicals without background tutting;
not having to watch Top Gear or listen to heavy metal;
not having to eat chili at least twice a week;
being proud of my boys and knowing its because of my parenting;
occasionally getting in the 'but I'm a single parent' comment at work when other people are slagging off single parents in general - and watching their faces when it clicks!

Until today i was feeling pretty fed up of being a lone parent - then this morning at my mums prayer support group all the sumgly married happy mums started confessing how much their 'perfect' husbands wound them up! Late home from work, grumbling about getting hands on with baby/child, extra washing etc Made me feel increadible grateful

Knowing I'm role modelling sanity and love and breaking the cycle of dysfunction... hoping my DC's will have a better expectation of relationships than I did

It's lovely isn't, that freedom from nagging and moaning. Not having to account for every minute of the day, listing all the people I've spoken to, arguing every time we went out together....too many things to list.

I've been single for ages now and I love my life, it's peaceful (esp now DDs are growing up!)

The horrible sinking feeling I would get when we had friends round for lunch or dinner when, as soon as they were out of the door, he would return to ignoring the kids. When friends were there he acted like superdad.

Dreading hearing the key in the front door.

Listening for hours on how great he was and how the whole world was against him.

Life is great now. How I put up with for so long still really puzzles me. Never again.

mrscynical if we could answer the " How I put up with it for so long" question it would be like being the next Bill Gates !!

When the kids are in bed I can spend hours gossiping on the phone to friends without being nagged at!

I get compliments constantly on how lovely, polite, out going and happy my kids are and I know it's all down to me!

I provide everything for my kids and it's ME they appreciate!

I haven't got some 18 stone mardy arsed lump trying to drag me down!

I'm so independent now, I do my own DIY, change tyres on the car, all sorts!

When my kids throw their arms around me and tell me how much they love me then I know I'm doing well!

At first, being a lone parent is quite nerve racking but to be honest its a zillion times better than being with someone who is not good for you !

Thank you everyone, just read this, brought it all back to me how much "he" affected my life. I feel sad though that we let these fuckwits mess with us for even one second of our precious lives! Lets be delighted with ourselves that we got rid of the narcissistic parasites eventually, HURRAY for us.