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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

wedding woes - I'm bridesmaid

2 replies

teahouse · 14/03/2011 20:09

Hate feeling like this but this coming weekend I am matron of honour at a wedding and whilst I'm so glad my friend is so happy - I just feel like shit.

I have been single for over ten years and not been in a proper relationship for over five. My life is a pathetic joke - unwanted by everyone bar my kids (few friends, difficult relationship with parents, and never been chatted up ever).

How am I meant to get through the day with a smile on my face when I'd rather just be hiding under my duvet; knowing that I seem destined never to have someone special in my life and all I have ahead of me is getting older, and a job that hardly pays the bills.

I hate my life

OP posts:
Antalya1 · 14/03/2011 22:36

Well you have been chatted up at some point if you were in a relationship in the last ten years and also you must be thought of as someone very special if you have been asked to be Matron of Honour.

You're certainly special to your children, you're their Mum!

On occassion I've felt how you are feeling at the moment but I doubt very much that you have a pathetic life...what and who are you measuring your life against? Many of us have juggle a job that barely pays the way, have fewer friends as we get older, normally because there isn't the time and difficult parents that we have to keep at bay.

If you don't get out much then this weekend is great chance to get out and socilaise...and yes put a smile on your face. If you are generally quite isolated then being around other people will lift you.

If you have been feeling like this for a while, and it's not just a bad couple of days, then perhaps you are depressed??

But I do hope that this weekend goes well and you enjoy it.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 14/03/2011 22:41

:( didn't want to let you go unanswered. I wish I had some wise words to make you feel better. It is shit when you're single and surrounded by happy people in relationships.

Two things strike me - one, you need strategies for getting through the day. Two, you need strategies for improving the quality of your life and your self image.

For the day itself, have a lovely pampering bath, de hair all appropriate areas (where is your business entirely!), exfoliate, face pack, moisturise, do finger and toe nails. Spend all Friday evening looking after yourself. Saturday, get up in plenty of time and have a shower/bath, do hair and makeup and have something nice for brunch to keep you going.

Focus on the positives of the day - your friend is happy, she loves you enough to choose you over everyone else to be her MOH, and there is (presumably) free food! Grin

I find that in these situations if you just stick a smile on and force yourself to appear as though you are having fun, eventually you start to actually have some. Try to think "how would I want to be in this situation?" and then act like that. Think of a few ideas of questions to ask people you are introduced to - how do they know the bride/groom, are they married/do they have DCs? what do they do? Complement them on their outfits, ask where they bought them - all stuff that people will enjoy responding to. You will get through the day, and it will mean a lot for your friend to have you there.

On a broader scale, you need to think about why you hate your life and what you can do about it. But just get through the weekend first, and be kind to yourself.

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