Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

Original poster

Should I go to CSA? - not sure what to do

9 replies

corlan · 13/03/2011 21:59

It's a bit of a long story and I really don't know what to do for the best.

My XP has been unemployed for the last 2 years, ever since his release from prison for committing fraud.

We have a daughter together and he has been paying me £200 a month most of the time but from time to time he says he can't afford to - he has paid me nothing for the last 2 months.

The thing is, he owns 2 houses and rents out all the rooms.At a rough guess, I think his income from rent must be around £3,500 per month. He says he can't pay support for his daughter when he has an empty room as he needs all the other income to pay off his mortgages. Unfortunately, I don't know how much his mortgage costs are.

I'm coming to the conclusion that myself and my daughter are subsidising his ownership of 2 houses and that I've been a mug putting up with this.

Has anyone been in a similar situation with an XP who doesn't work but has a large income?

Would it be worth my while contacting the CSA? It's complicated by the likelihood that he does not declare any of his income for tax purposes.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

boxingHelena · 13/03/2011 22:03

if he has 2 buy to let mortgages on 2 properties, with current rates at all time low I really doubt it is not making a small fortune out of it tbh

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 13/03/2011 22:22

Whether he rents out two houses or not, whether he works or doesn't work, whether he wears blue or red pants, is all irrelevant. Apply to the CSA. Bear in mind that he may be instructed to pay you less than what you've agreed privately but he won't be able to miss payments on a whim.

nixnjj · 13/03/2011 23:23

If he's unemployed CSA will say he must pay £5 per week. It would be down to you to provide the proof of his "other income" as its a difficult case it is likely to drag on for years and soon you will have to pay a fee for this and then pay a % of what you do receive.

I would be careful here, he currently pays you £200 per month, if he was told by the CSA he only needs to pay you £260 a year is he likely to drop his payments or even decided he had been overpaying and stop all together ?

Original poster

corlan · 14/03/2011 00:05

Thanks for your answers.

I feel really stuck - I probably could prove his income from renting rooms as he always has ads for them on the internet.What I worry would happen then is that he would then get into trouble with the Inland revenue for tax evasion and may well end up back in prison.

From my own point of view, he probably belongs back in prison but I know it would damage my daughter if that happened.

I feel so sick about it. It was my daughter's birthday today and I couldn't afford to buy her much. I asked him if he could give me anything to help pay towards her party but he said he had nothing. Then he turned up this evening with an expensive bike he'd got her!

It just drives me nuts that everything is done on his terms and I feel like I can't get any justice without hurting my daughter.

OP posts:

Smum99 · 14/03/2011 14:55

I would apply to the CSA but first have a discussion with him. Get a time when DC aren't around and mention that you struggle with finances and find a way to get a regular contributionIf he says he can't then I think you need to suggest you involve a 3rd party like the CSA to make an assessment.

His income on the houses is income from rent less interest rate and other charges (maintenance etc). Most BTL's aren't making a fortune, it's typically a long term investment for when mortgage free so alot will depend on when he bought the houses.

It's not your worry that he might not be legit, however I think it always best to be mention going to the CSA (in a non threatening way) i.e if you don't pay I'll go to CSA.
The benefit of CSA is that it removes the needs for parents to have a discussion about finances, if they assess him as having a low income then you won't get anything but are you really getting sufficient now?

humptydidit · 14/03/2011 16:13

corlan I would have thought that for the purposes of the csa he would be counted as self employed. My ex h was paying thru the csa for dsd when we were self employed. TBH it was a nightmare the ex wife as it seemed to be an easy way to fiddle the whole csa thing. Although he might be earning lots of rent from these properties, if he can prove that he has lots of expenses, e.g. mortgage, repairs, bills, legal fees etc etc etc, then the actual income he declares could be considerably less than what you first thought and you could end up a lot worse off.

Although he doesn't have a job, technically he isn't unempoyed if he has an income .
I don't know what to suggest. If you go to the csa you know that you will be getting what is the right amount, but you might end up worse off financially although you should have regular amounts to help you budget. The other problem with being self employed is that you can't make xp pay his maintanance, he has to choose to. If he had a paid job they can take it from his wages so you would def get it.

Sorry, v long winded, basically trying to say that it's your choice but you won't necessarily end up better off.

Now I'm !!!

Original poster

corlan · 14/03/2011 22:17

It is very confusing humptydidit!

I think men that choose not to pay support for their children should be branded on the forehead,so that we can all just shun them or throw things at them as they pass by.

I know there are a lot of us in the same boat and a lot that are worse off than me but the thought of having to fight this man for money for the next 10 years is really depressing.

I guess I'll see what happens over the next couple of months and if he doesn't pay up, I'll take it to the CSA - for which,I will probably have to pay if the planned changes to the CSA go through.It's like being mugged and then having to pay the police to get your purse back

OP posts:

humptydidit · 15/03/2011 21:52

oh corlan I know it is crap!

Since I split from my ex h i found out that in the past he went to prison for non payment of maintanance... so not holding out much hope that he will make much effort to pay me anything

heatherbee36 · 16/03/2011 08:43

corlan, I am having a similar dilemma. My ex is self employed so it's impossible to know what kind of income he is on. If he tells me he has no money I end up feeling sorry for him and don't want to create a difficult situation because of the DC. I am so sick of having to take his circumstances into consideration -when does he think about/ask about MY circumstances? I have arranged to have a discussion on Friday with him -lets see if he tries to wriggle out of it!

The way I'm trying to see it is if he had an un-expectedly large bill to pay to fix his car, he'd find the money to pay it somehow - so paying for his children should be absolute priority whatever his circumstances -no question.

Flip