single mum and breast cancer

[pinkstarlight]

is there any single mums out there that have had to cope with breast cancer.

the doctor at the breast clinic has told me to expect my biopsy results to come back as positive for cancer,i now have to wait for a week for the results and have been booked into see the consultant.

i have been told things will happhen fast and to expect sergery and chemo etc.

im feeling quite emotional but i need to start thinking practicle i have got something sorted if i need to go in to hospital for a op and to help me out for a few days after but what about chemo will i be able to manage that and be able to look after the house and manage the kids or am i going to need alot of help,i have no idea what to expect

oh i'm sorry!!

i have no idea,just didnt want you to go unanswered....would social services be able to help?

how old are your children?

so sorry OP

I too have no personal experience, but wanted to suggest you call MacMillan - they're supposed to be really helpful with practical as well as emotional support/advice

I am very sorry you are going through this.

My mum had chemo for breast cancer. I think modern drugs are easier on the body than they used to be. My mum had her nausea pretty well controlled with medication but she did get pretty tired as the course wore on. How old are your kids? Do they need constant care or could they look after you a bit (make cups of tea, warm soup etc)?

i have 3 kids ones away at uni shes more than willing to come home and help out she says the uni will be understanding as long as she gets her work in on time,but i really dont want to put that burden on her its unfair.i have a 15 year old and 11 year old but he has learning difficulties the 15 year old is going to struggle to help look after her brother but im sure my x will help out by cooking for them at his house if need be.
i dont see so much of my friends these days as their kids have grown up and now they are back working full time and my sister lives abroad my mums offered to come to help out but shes struggling herself right now after breaking her back around xmas time and shes still not recovered.

how sever eis the 11 year old? do you ahve a soail worker for him already? is he statemented? you can ask social services for extra support for him as a child in need/disabled child

speak to social services about what help you could get and/or hospital social worker .

if you dont ask - you wont get help. but ask around - GP, macmillan nurses, cancer dept at hospital, hospital social wroker etc as wella s clling duty socail worker at local authority

What cestlavielife said. I'm sure there is a lot of help out there if you ask for it. Make the most of your ex helping out, they are his children after all. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
Newer drugs might be easier on the body but you might not be prescribed one. Many chemotherapeutic drugs (including those used to treat breast cancer) have been kicking around for years. I agree with cestlavielife - ask for all the help you can get, and then ask again. Now is the time to be shamelessly pushy. Do talk to your friends, I'm sure they'd want to support you in any way they can.
Have you been on the tamoxifen threads? The lastest one is here. They are an oasis for women who are going through or have gone through breast cancer.

thanks everyone theres alot for me to take in right now especially as i dont really understand whats going to happen or how much support im going to need.

i still cant believe this is happening to me its hard to grasp as apart from a painful boob and being a little tired i dont look ill at all.

Firsty I am sorry to hear of your news and it is so hard esp with younger one with SNs....my ds 6 has profound SNs too. Your daughter although 15 I don't think can be in charge as SNs the person has to be older? But check this out. My sister was in for 3 nights but she could not move her arm for 3 weeks as had stitches and sore as they removed lymph glands too.
SS (child disability team) should off extra Direct Payments so you can pay someone to stay or they can hire agency for this...or short term foster care is the only other option I can think of sorry. Unless your eldest can miss a week of uni whilst you go into hospital for surgery and 15yr old manage under your supervision with youngest whilst stiches recover etc (however chemo I have no personal/family experience as sis didn't need chemo).
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

So sorry Have you contacted Macmillan? They were great for a relative (not such a difficult situation as yours admittedly) and you really need people who are going to listen to your emotional as well as practical needs. They now advertise as being able to help with sorting out the practical stuff too. Good luck.

Pink...can I ask whereabouts you are? I, for one, would be more than happy to offer help if you were near to me, and I'm sure other MNers would too. This is a huge fear for me too, as a single mum, so if I could ease the burden I would.

Hi there.i had breast cancer 15 yrs ago when i was 27 with 3 boys under 8,i wasnt a single mum tho but thought i could help a bit.
Firstly i want to second the macmillan suggestion,they were fabulous for me and even helped pay for friend to stay nearby when i had surgery in London.

Secondly let me reassure you that chemo isnt nearly as terrible as you imagine and i was able to carry on with the house and kids apart from one day which was the day after,modern medicine controls sickness and other side effects really well.
You will feel no worse than if you had a bad bug.Radio threrapy is a doddle takes mins and minimal side effects.
When is your surgery?Before or after your treatment?

You will need some support of course but i am trying to convey that you will not be completely helpless.
I would ask to see the hospital sw to discuss options in advance.

I am in Cheltenham and was also a single mum for years after my ca so i will also help out if i can.

pink can totally identify with the looking and feeling ok.I used to think "how can i have such a serious illness but look normal and be just walking around" Tis strange.

people on here are so nice thankyou for the offers of help,im feeling alot more positive today thanks to my mum.

thankyou ledkr for letting me know your experience looking at google has terrified the living daylights out of me so its good to hear that you was able to manage.i guess i need to just go with the flow and take each day as it comes.

Hi Pink. So sorry you are going through this. But I'm proof that you can do it. I'm a single mum and I had breast cancer last year. My DD was 3. I only have the one.

With regard to treatment, if you have surgery you will be in the hospital for two or three nights. When you come out you'll have fairly restricted movement for a little while and you won't be able to drive for a few weeks. But your movement and ability to drive will come back pretty quickly. I was able to pick my daughter up after a few days and was back at work after four weeks.

I had chemo and radiotherapy after my surgery. The kind of chemo I had is really not as bad as you might imagine. I felt pretty rotten for a couple of days but once the 'bad' day or two was over I recovered pretty well between each treatment and was able to do everything that I would ordinarily have done. The oncology nurses are very good at helping you manage any side-effects. But I did get very tired and the tiredness was cumulative - I was tireder after the sixth chemo than after the first.

Do contact Macmillan as others have already suggested. And the Tamoxifen support thread is brilliant. I was never much of a poster, but I lurked most days and when I did post got wonderful support.

People will want to help. Let them. When people offer to do stuff, take them up on it. When they ask if there is anything they can do, think of something and tell them. This is not a time to try to cope any more than you have to.

Not got much time, hence rushedness of this post. But PM me if you want to.

thankyou burning bright for the offer of pm,i still cant take it in but your reply has helped me to know what to expect.