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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

male nanny

17 replies

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 12:13

I am really happy and excited by the fact that tomorrow my ds (never met f, not f figure around ever) is going to spend 3 hrs with brand new male nanny who's going to take him for walk, teach him riding bicycle (something i never had the patience for etc ) I see it as a treat, and is going to be regular on thursdays. DS have met him a few times and he is looking forward to it. He has experience with SN, works as TA p/t, and at Uny.
So all good till people I have told to have put a gloom on it... simply because he is a bloke!
Bringing up all sort of horrid scenarios I was waiting for some one going to mention the case
We are going ahead with plan, just interested in your views

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Original poster

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 12:14

sorry (Soham Case) missing

OP posts:

chubbleigh · 09/03/2011 13:10

The best nursery teacher I ever met was a young black dude. The kids utterly adored him and he was fantastic in every respect. IMO there are not enough men in childcare.

caramelwaffle · 09/03/2011 13:41

I would have no problem with hiring a male nanny if he met all of my criteria.

I think it is very positive thing - especially if you have sons.

corlan · 09/03/2011 14:36

Dahling - didn't you know it's frightfully trendy to have a 'manny'!

Seriously though, it's got to be a good thing,
especially for boys.

Original poster

boxingHelena · 09/03/2011 15:33

I have been trying to get this one for a while now but he was busy, I see... so he must be in fashion/demand.
I have also been looking at male teacher as a deciding factor toward a school too. Otherwise I dont know how on earth to have ds interact with men.
Glad you agree. This morning I was told that I was ''utterly irresponsible" and "how could I be sure"

OP posts:

gillybean2 · 09/03/2011 16:24

local radio station here had a bit of a debate a few years ago when one of the presenters got a male au pair for her dd. The male co-presenter was giving the same kind of response you sound like you're getting and telling her it was weird and stuff. But she went ahead and it sounded like it worked out fine as she would mention it/him from time to time.
Would point out to the people who are 'concerned' that their dc spend time with grandpa, uncles, husband's of your friends, possibly even their own dad etc. Are all those dc also in danger..?

loonyrationalist · 09/03/2011 16:40

There are far too few men in childcare & this bizarre attitude is certainly a contributing factor - along with much of childcare being atrociously underpaid.

I would actively seek out a childcare with a male influence if possible (there are 5 pre-schools in the vicinity - none have any male staff members)

sjm123 · 09/03/2011 21:59

Not a nanny but my children used to have a male childminder for a few years not long after I and their father split. I was a little unsure until I went to see him when he was looking after his other minded kids and his own kids. It was great for my son to spend a lot of time around a man given that their dad was awful and at the time we lived in a refuge with no men around at all.

He was utterly fantastic, used to do loads of fun things with them (including things like waterfights in the garden and playing the town fountains with them) and they absolutely loved having him looking after them. I say go for it, I was so happy leaving my kids with my male childminder :)

Original poster

boxingHelena · 21/03/2011 11:05

Just wanted to update
My ds is so happy to be playing with a big guy he ask when is going to be next thursday :-)
On the other hand some mums have asked me...but but but... is he gay?

OP posts:

exexpat · 21/03/2011 11:16

I've never had a nanny, male or female, but my DCs have been lucky enough to have had quite a few male nursery workers and primary school teachers, and have absolutely loved them - they really do bring a different attitude to the classroom.

And no, most of them weren't gay - one or two were, several had young children themselves, and for most I have no idea and in any case couldn't care less about their sexual preferences.

People are just weird about the combination of men/small children in this country.

Original poster

boxingHelena · 21/03/2011 11:23

tbh honest I think he might be, but I could not care less if he was. He is lovely and I agree that male input is a bonus in schools and nursery. I would have never thought that but all I need to do is to look at the way my LO interacts both with him and with the swimming pool instructor to know I am doing the right thing for him.
Still very odd to hear mothers comments. Even from the one one would not expect it...
He is more of a baby sitter really, was wrong to call him nanny but I like the sound of it

OP posts:

bringonthegoat · 21/03/2011 14:04

Good for you - I think children generally lack positive male role models. DD has her wonderful GF but spends most time surrounded by women.

It is so utterly sad and depressing that people have this 'peado's everywhere' attitude. My Dad loves children - had he been born now he would have gone into childcare. The looks he gets - especially from mums - are awful when he dares to smile/wave/speak to their child

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 21/03/2011 15:40

I hate the 'that man loves children so he must be a paedo' mindset that some people have

OP your ds will benefit from having a positive male role model in his life, ignore other people's stupid comments.

itisnotgoingwelltoday · 21/03/2011 15:57

Oh ignore ignore ignore.

My DS has babysat for loads of kids and they all adore him. He's very very kid focussed, even if we were out to dinner the babies/toddlers would gravitate to him.

Oh and he is definitely not gay well not that he's admitting to his mum anyway lol

AllDirections · 27/03/2011 00:20

DD3 has no relationship with her dad at all and I don't see my family so I found a male childminder, well husband and wife team really, and she's been with them for nearly 4 years. One of the best decisions I ever made!

caramelwaffle · 28/03/2011 00:11

That is so good to hear AllDirections.

caramelwaffle · 28/03/2011 00:12

Hope everything is working out well for you Helena.

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