Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

Original poster

Right to stay in the marital home until youngest child 18? And are benefits affected by num of days spent with NRP?

15 replies

amicable · 07/03/2011 09:20

I have recently separated from H and starting to wonder about the legal side of things.

A few people have said that as we jointly own the house (and have a joint mortgage) that I have the right to remain in the house until our youngest child is 18.

Is this true? Does anyone have any experience?

Also, will the benefits that I am receiving as a SAHM (Income Support / child tax credits) be affected by how many days / nights per week the children stay at their dads house?

Thanks

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 07/03/2011 09:22

The maintenance could be affected, but not your benefits.

cestlavielife · 07/03/2011 10:18

if is agreed you and children should reside there then yes it might be that this is agreed til youngest reaches 18.

you will need to sort that out with H - try a mediator. is about where the children should reside - if is agreed that you stay in former marital home with them then this might be until youngest reaches 18.

but depends on things like who will pay mortgage, how much house is worth eg could it be sold and you ach buy separate properties etc etc , if H moving out where will he live etc.

FeelingOld · 07/03/2011 11:07

It depends really on a lot of things including how co-operative your ex is.

If i had stayed in the marital home (which my ex was dead against) he would not have paid a penny towards the mortgage (i dont even get any maintenance from him) and there is no way i could have afforded it on my own so i had no choice but to agree to sell the house and i live in rented now.
I did have about 80% of the furniture etc from the house.

Now 3 years down the line i am actually glad i have moved, i have a friend who is still in the house and her ex feels he has a right to come into the house if he pleases whereas my house is my home and if my ex wanted to come in he has no right and would have to be invited.

balia · 07/03/2011 14:48

Would you want to stay in the house? Can you afford to stay and for your H to get somewhere suitable for the children to stay with him, too? TBH, sorting out how much time they have with Dad shouldn't be influenced by how much money you'll get.

Original poster

amicable · 07/03/2011 18:35

Thanks all for your replies. I do want to stay in the house, I absolutely love it here, it is my home. Not sure how we'll do the numbers though, or how co-operative H will be in the long run. I can understand what you are saying feelingold about being glad that you moved house, and I'm aware that renting is a possibility in the future.

Of course I wouldn't let money affect how much time H spends with the children balia! I am trying to get him to have them 3 nights a week, and just wanted to know if I needed to let the benefits people know about this.

OP posts:

balia · 07/03/2011 19:13

Sorry amicable - maybe it was just phrased in a way that made me go IYSWIM!

Can you afford to take on the mortgage? Why not try posting in legal - you might get a clearer picture of your rights etc.

Sassybeast · 07/03/2011 20:26

Yes you can apply for a court order called a mesher order which will protect the sale of the house until your youngest child is 18. It's worth putting a sum of money away each month now so that when your youngest reaches 18, you already have a lump sum accumulated and that may go a good way to paying your ex his share of the equity, enabling you to stay in the house anyway at this point. The main thing to remember though is that if your ex DOES remain as a joint owner, your house forms part of his assets so if he or a future wife accumulated debts, YOUR house would be at risk.

Original poster

amicable · 07/03/2011 20:46

No problem balia, have reread my op and can understand why you'd think that !

Thanks sassybeast, that's interesting, also rather worrying about the house being at risk. My H is not great with money and career going a bit tits up at the mo, so that is a real worry. God.

OP posts:

kitkat1000 · 07/03/2011 21:09

as i understood it you can only keep the house if it renders you homeless otherwise - i've always heard that you sell and split the money and buy separately. Otherwise your husband will lose out financially and in terms of getting on the ladder so at the very least you will have to buy him out at the current rate - this has happened to two friends of mine.

kitkat1000 · 07/03/2011 21:12

sorry just read Sassys post - if he gets to stay on as joint owner - do you want him to be entitled to 50-50 in the future. My best friend left her husband buy stayed on the mortgage. 10 years later she got 50% of everything even though she'd payed nothing - seems unfair! Think i'd sell out of principle!

evolucy7 · 07/03/2011 22:10

Would you be able to get the mortgage transferred in to your name alone, if so I believe that you would no longer be joint owners as such, I think you can agree on a percentage, or a figure now of what he would get in the future.

Original poster

amicable · 08/03/2011 21:23

kitkat it does seem very odd that someone should benefit from house price rises over years, if they don't contribute to the mortgage payment. Gawd, what a mess!

That's interesting evolucy. Think I really need to go to a solicitor .

OP posts:

lillian897654347689 · 11/07/2014 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SillyZebra · 30/04/2024 18:21

I am married and my husband has a 12 Yr old child with his ex partner. His ex has full custody of the child and lives with her. My husband has visitation only every other weekend.
My husband has said that if we divorce, then he will stop me from selling the marital home until his child is 18. As he doesn't have custody, the child lives with her mum, and he has visitation only that doesn't specify where he sees her, is it right that he could stop the sale of the home until the child is 18?
I don't think he is correct since the child has a roof over her head, but as this answer is from a person who has previous DA history and other issues, I just want to know if anyone here knows if what he says is true please?

sunlovingcriminal · 01/05/2024 10:44

@SillyZebra - you really need to start your own thread on this. Probably best to put it in divorce/separation topic.

But to be brief, the court doesn't appear to still recommend mescher orders, instead preferring clean breaks. And it is unlikely that he would be granted the right to retain the marital home on the circumstances that you describe. Obviously if he could afford to buy you out of your share of the house, and continue to pay the mortgage payments that would be another matter.

Flip