My ex left us just over a month ago. He is the father of my two children now aged 8 and 5. Since dd8 was very young, he has been verbally unkind to her and when she got older he would smack her very hard and push her about. This has had a big effect on her in all sorts of ways.
When he first left he saw them every morning to take them to their childminder but it ended in him losing his temper and dragging and pushing dd up the stairs.
Since then I have stopped him seeing them in the morning. The children do not want to see him, either of them. They saw him for one morning over half term but they didn't want to and I made him have his sister with him. That went okay but the children were much happier to see their aunty and basically spent most of their time with her.
Today he has asked again to see them. I asked them if they wanted to see him and they were very clear that they didn't. I told him I had left the choice up to them and didn't want to force the issue but he is now saying it is my fault.
I really do not want to force the children to see him when they are so against it. I have said to the children that they can see him or phone him whenever they want and that it won't upset me, as I don't want them to feel disloyal to me if they see him, but they just honestly don't want to.
There isn't a formal contact order or anything but how do I go on from here? If ex did go to court for more contact, would the children's wishes be taken into account? Dd in particular is frightened of him and really does not want to spend any time with him.