Did you leave your dp/dh? Need help!

[mashup]

I am thinking of leaving my dh who I've been with for 15 years (married 10). There is so much at stake and I don't know if I'm brave enough (there are no issues of violence, by the way). I feel I should stay for the kids who are both under 9 but don't know how long I can keep pretending. Has anyone been in the same boat? I really need to hear from people who have left their partners as I don't know what to do.

I left my dh after 18 year sof marriage and took the children with me, they were 5, 9 and 12 at the time.

what do you wnat to ask?

Thanks Lillibet. The problem I have is that he is not a bad man. I've literally fallen out of love with him. We've been a couple since our teens & I now want different things out of life. I don't find him attractive anymore, most of the time he irritates the hell out of me. To complicate matter, we work together. We're just going round in circles. I have tried to leave twice over the past 12 months, but each time I stayed as I could not bear to hurt him. I'm confused.

It was very difficult financially, but we had a very acrimonious relationship, so I was paying half the mortgage for the joint home and my rent and all my bils on my rented house. This went on for nearly 18 months before we went to court and he would leave the former matrimonial home.

How woud you manage?

Does he know how you feel?

He knows how I feel, but I have not told him I feel like this again recently. I can't bear to put him through it again, the next time I do, it has to be final, for his sake as well as mine. I think I'd be ok financially, as the house and business are in joint names, so I assume that technically it would all be split down the middle. I have family and lots of friends around me to support me. What were the circumstances of your split if you don't mind me asking?

we stopped loving one another and should ahve split up years before, before it got nasty. He became violent and stopped speaking and became very controlling where money was concerned. For a while I worked 5am till 8 at Tesco and then 8.15 till 3 at my 'normal' job to try and get money for myself and the children.

When we left the children never asked 'why', which I thought spoke volumes.

If the house is in joint names will he not move out? I would recommend speaking to him while you still can. Relate may be able to help, they don't just talk to poeple who are trying to make a go of it, they also talk to people who are splitting up to help make things easier.

We had everything in joint names, but it took from Feb 02 when I got my nisi to October 03 to go to court and get the financial settlement and then the absolute.

Am very happily remarried now btw!