should i feel anoyed/hurt/ect...

[RoseAnn]

i have mentioned on here before that my i take my child every weekend like 40 miles to see dad for the day whenever its his turn to travel he seems to come up with some excuss....... which is worsen by the fact that he faild to pay child suport and train fare isnt cheep ..... anyways back on to today....

he phoned yest to let me no hed be coming down to day but he was of out last night so hed ring to arange time in morning as he dont have a phone atm he seid he would call me

well at 1.30 i got a phone call saying that he'd forgot he hadnt got a phone soooo forgot to call me :S but it was to late for him to come down plus he had made plans to meet up wiv this lass from the night b4 at 2

surley this suggests that his forgetfullness is more on purpose then he's making out plus if thats how he behavies for a lass from the night before how will he act if he gets a new gf....

atm my child only just 2 so i dnt tell he was ment to be coming and she doesnt realy notice ether but as she gets older she will

am i over reacting??
is it just am being spitful to new lass or do i have point?
i dont no if how i feel is normal or justified ..... just wanted others opinon

xx

You are too accommodating and he sounds like a complete prick tbh. You are not over reacting - he needs to stick to the arranged access times, and dropping a visit with his daughter in favour of meeting up with a girl he met the night before speaks volumes about him. See a solicitor about putting access times in concrete. See the CSA about getting some maintenance. Don't bend over backwards any longer.

Roseann - you have every right to be furious.

The guy is a complete Tosser to treat you and child like that. It's as simple as that.

i no he walked all over me when we were together and he's still doing it now .............i think its cause he is soooooo pathetic that i cnt help feelin sorry for him :s

also he makes me feel like its my fault ... like it my fault he's alone so i sould help fix it hmmm

Perhaps tell him that as he failed to turn up (again) then it is his responsibility to arrange the next visit and that until he does his fair share of the travelling to facilitate the contact you won't be bringing her up again.

So you do one trip and you don't do another until he has done one as well.
And 40 miles is nothing. I travel an hour each way just to get to work each day! I'd travel far further to see my child

its like only 20 mins on train my issue with it is cost his is wel..... laziness

He sounds just like my ex used to be - always changing arrangements, totally unreliable it used to drive me mad.

Then I stopped agreeing to take our boys to him (and like a mug I was also picking them up afterwards)so he had to come and get them and return them. Then he kept being late - not just 10 or 15 minutes I'm talking anything up to 2 hours. We'd sit around waiting for him, boys agitated, me wanting to have some time for myself.

Eventually after a good friend gave me a talking to I decided to give him a 15 minute window for being late. Then I would go out with the boys and if he wanted to see them then he had to come and find me in town or wherever. It only took a few times before he realised that it was a pain for him to chase me around and it was better if he turned up on time or phoned me if he was stuck in traffic.

The only way to deal with it, like others have said is to stand up for yourself and say "No" sometimes we mums are too easy going with exes because we want the best for our children. Your dd might not notice if he turns up now but she will as she gets older, easier to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later. It took me a long while to learn that though!!