Is it fair for DC to go on hol with their dad for a week

[chosenonesparklyglitterybow]

Just wondered what you lot do? whats the norm etc... My exDH and have planned to take the DC away for a week each in the summer holidays. me to a caravan park him camping. My mother thinks I am being selfish and thoughtless as she thinks my 4 year old DD will miss me too much and won't enjoy camping for that long and will pine etc. My DS will be 6 and loves camping and is less clingy to me.

I said its the way things have to be when you co parent and of course we'll miss each other but will phone every day. I know they worry about my ex as he is a bit of a day dreamer and they think he's incapable of coping with the DC for a week ( I myself would worry about this a bit) but when there's no one else to take up the slack he does normally focus on the DC. Any thoughts, feel so guilty now she's gone on about this.

Stick to the plan. It's a good and reasonable thing to do. If your dd is upset them talk to your ex about cutting the holiday short or you going to get her whilst your son has time with his dad or you stay for a night or two nearby. You probably need to tell your parents to keep their opinions to themselves. Your ex will manage - and it's in everybody's interests that you let him be as good a dad as you possibly can.

I don't see any reason at all why your children cannot spend a whole week camping with their father, a responsible adult. It's nothing to do with your mother.

He is their father, of course he can be responsible for them for a week.

I think it depends on a lot of things.
Right now I have said no to the dc's going away for a week with their dad (my ex) in the summer.
They are 4 and 7. It is really nothing to do with their age that I have said no mainly to do with their relationship with their dad.

He sees them alledgedly 1 night a month and even that is not stuck to by him but that is a whole other story.
Because of this his relationship with the children has suffered.
He had them for 3 nights just after Christmas and TBH that was verging on too long for them after such little time spent with him over the past 2 years so for him to take them for a week he needs to, for them to want to go and not be upset,build up his relationship with them again and again

If your dc are used to regular contact and time with their dad I don't think that a week is too much for them at that age.

thanks for the feedback. Your ex sounds a pain ineed what a shame he can't stick to what you've agreed. My ex has the DC twice a week along with doing the morning school run (he only lives 5 mins away) so he is in their lives a lot. I think my mother just isn't happy with our break up, its been 6 months and she's always finding new things to worry/complain about tbh.

I do worry it will be a very boy friendly holiday and I'd prefer him to take them away with his parents too but its not up to me. I think I'll just pack DD some extra girly bits to keep her busy - or pray exDH gets a girlfriend by then.

chosenone you are dealing with this really well - spot on!! Please don't let your Mum derail you and/or make you doubt yourself.

Sounds fair to me. We have arranged to split school holidays down the middle, so DS goes away for five days each half term, eight days each at Christmas and Easter, and then twenty four days over the Summer holidays. If he chose to take him away, other than letting me know, I wouldn't be worried about it.

It is perfectly natural for them to go on holiday with their father for a week, as it is them with you.

Your mother should have no input into when the children see their father, it is between you and him.

Thanks- feeling better already

What folk may not have mentioned here is that you also deserve a break, (if that is what you want). It gives you a whole week to break free from you full time job as single parent and let your hair down for a bit. . .whether its just sunbathing, watching TV, shopping, clubbing, dating etc. Why not, you quite rightly need this break to be YOU and not MUM. Go and have some fun, see girl friends, travel away etc.. . . . get sloshed and be totally lazy. Or get the house seen to , decorate, spring clean, whatever you fancy. !!!
From experience, Its good to let the Ex have the kids and take responsibility for them . They are his kids afterall. !
Then when they come back they are pleased to see you and you feel ready to be a mum again.

My mum was like yours. . .making me feel guilty. If she hasnt got the "Divorce" T shirt, then she doesnt understand. 4 yr DS will be ok. You can talk to him everyday as you said. My DD was 3 and she cried but she was ok when she got back.
Best of luck, and I hope your kids have a nice time with Dad.

Ah yes, what maltesers said too.

I do forget that it means a break for others when their children go away because my DD is not involved with her father, thus always at home.

From what you said in your op I think you should let them go for a week, it does seem fair and I think it would be good opportunity for them to spend quality time with their dad.

It might be a tough week for you missing them and maybe this is what your mum is thinking of. But I do think you need to swallow the lump in your throat and kiss them goodbye, they'll probably have a blast and it will fly by

I wouldn't think twice about letting my ex have DD (6) for a week and he's a complete arse. Kids love camping and should also have the chance to build a good relationship with both parents.

Tell your Mum to keep out of it, unless she's going to be supportive. You've got enough going on.

I miss my daughter loads when she's at her Dad's but I also really need the time on my own. Enjoy it and make sure you plan to do some good stuff.

My DD goes on holiday twice a year. Once with her paternal GPs and once with her dad.

I miss her lots but know she's in safe hands and she calls me a couple of times (if she remembers!)

I suppose it all depends on how the exP is. If he is a cock then I might have a few misgivings, but fortunately mine isn't.