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access to children

3 replies

sunnydays1 · 11/02/2011 09:38

How to go about arranging access for your children.My partner and I are parting he will move out and live within 1 mile radius.We have a 13 and 9 year old.dad is excellent dad and wants to have them 50/50 split.Do you do every other weekend what about week days.I worry that in the week the children will be chopping and changing houses and all get very confusing not least for where the school uniform is gym kit etc etc.Advice from Mums and dads who do this much appreciated

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Olessaty · 11/02/2011 10:03

A 50/50 split could be done one week with mum, one week with dad. The benefits are that the children wouldn't be chopping and changing every couple of days, and that work/free time would be balanced between both parents. The down side is that a week is a long time to not see a parent if you are used to seeing them all the time.

You could try briefer splits, so four days with mum, three days with dad, and alternating. This would mean more chopping and changing, but less time between seeing each parent.

Things like school uniform are easy enough to organise. It might take a bit of time to get used to the new routine, but if you are well organised it works for many people.

Personall, I decided against shared custody, as I felt it wouldn't be beneficial for my DS. We organised alternate weekends with each parent, then a weekly overnight stay, and split holidays and half terms in half between us instead. We also have flexibility, DSs dad is welcome to have him more when it's possible. Contact is not really restricted, though I like to make sure I get our arranged weekends together as it's good quality time.

Have you thought about talking to the kids about what they would like to do? They are a bit older, so they may have a preference.

belleshell · 11/02/2011 17:10

Hi, i do 50/50 split with kids and ex. kids seem really happy, and when i have asked them they say they wouldnt want it any other way. i on the other hand struggle the week i havent got the kids, i really miss them, but i have to keep reminding myself kids are happy, also i can plan things in advance and for once in 11 years i can do what i want when i want 1 week in two without having to make sure ex wasnt working at football etc......... it works for us.good luck with whatever u plan

gillybean2 · 11/02/2011 19:40

look here for some advise on what to consider
home.clara.net/spig/p-plans/p-plans.htm

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