ladys have you ever done the asking out?

[bristolcities]

Iv only ever been in one serious relationship and he did the chasing.

I'm bored of being single and have seen a chap like i quite fancy.

I have no idea if he has a girlfriend or if if the feeling is mutual.

So have any of you done the asking. If so how? and how did it go?

I'm terrified of being rejected and never being able to return to my favourite shop through sheer embarrassment.

well until you find out if he is single there is no point either of you making a move.

Just chat to him in a friendly way until you find out more. You will then be in a better position to guage whether the feelings are mutual.

But once those bases are covered you simply say "do you fancy maybe doing something at the weekend"

Ok, thank you i will find out asap.

Another question how do you find men normally react when they find out you have children?

depends.

if they are wankers they will pull a face and make an excuse to allow themtime to run screaming.

If not they will take things in their stride.

You are asking him on a date, not to sign up for parental responsibility.

don't over think things, they are you children not an STI that you need to hide until its too late.

Absolutely.

I asked DP out. We've been together 21 years this year.

We worked for the same company although we didn't see each other very often as we worked in different towns. On one occassion he was visiting Head Office I just said "Shall we go out for a meal after work?" and he said "Yeah ok."

We have never got married but we are very happy.

Neither of us had children but we knew this as we'd chatted a bit. I would suggest that you slip that into your first conversation somehow to test the reaction.

I called DH.He had given me his number,he had seemed keen,but then no call....so I called him.As it turned out he would have got round to calling me- he was 22,he'd been home for Christmas,he'd been finishing with his girlfriend (of only a few weeks).But I was annoyed at waiting for the call.Reader I married him.And he's still cautious,but in a good way.

oh no penelope he knows i have a son was just wondering if you thought it put most men off.

i know its only a date but of course men would rightly assume your time is much more limited. I thought this might be more of an issue because we are both in our 20s.

My confidence is massively damaged from being in a terrible relationship and im not sure i can take the rejection.

It doesn't have to be a rejection though.

Don't look at it as if it were suceed or fail.

Just see wherethings take you. Think of life road, every event is a cross roads. go one way and it takes you one route, the other takes you another. neither are right or wrong, just different.

If he says no (why would he) then you know that fate has decided that you will be better suited to take the other path.

A bit airy fairy i know, but it may make you less tempted to put so much emphasis on things.

to you penelope, thank you.

I must try to be positive, take things in my stride and stop over analyzing things.

I just feel so damaged by my previous relationship i dont really know where to begin, but what you have said seems like a good place to start.

Thank you all for you positive comments.

May take the plunge.

good luck.

do let us know how you get on.