Met a new Man - is it too soon?

[SingleMumAndProud]

I have sort of met somebody new, really early days but he seems lovely and seems keen. And I really like him. BUT I am worried. We are both in our twenties and I have 2 toddlers from my failed marriage which ended only last July. My husband has been with his new girlfriend a few months now so he obviously isn't bothered. New guy knows I have kids, but I am struggling to see why he would be interested in me with the kids.

But I am worried I am moving on too soon, and that everybody will judge me for it?

And we haven't slept together yet - which is something that fills me with fear! My husband is the only person to have seen my post baby body and I am covered in stretch marks and wobbly bits! . Realisically I would love to do it and know I deserve some fun but really worried what he would think.

just enjoy yourself... no need for him to be meeting your children (not just yet anyway) you deserve some fun. so just make it about the 2 of you...

my ex moved into his new girlfriends house only 6 months after we split.. somepeople just move on faster then others...

go for it, you deserve the fun and distraction that a new man brings, not to mention a great confidence boost as you know you are still attractive, interesting and basically you've still got what it takes!!

I would agree to keep him from your kids for a bit though, at the end of the day this is about you having fun at the moment, not them (or him!) forming attachments.

I've been single since ds was 5 months old (although ex told me he was leaving just after I got pg, awesome timing) - I have been dating a few men but only one seriously whom I met last June. We had a great 6 months of dinners, drinks out and generally having fun and getting to know each other before we finally realised we were falling for each other enough to introduce my little man to the equation. We have now had joint sleepovers at his house which went really well and we have booked our first holiday away together for later this year - wooohoo!

I was worried about why someone would date me with a kid just the same as you are but the truth is I think they just need to know from day one that you come as a package and they know that if they want to get serious then they need to decide whether that suits them or not. In the meantime protect your feelings a bit, but above all have some fun and line up a team of babysitters you can rely on!!

Oh and as for the sleeping together post baby - my advice is get slightly tipsy (not hammered though, you want to enjoy it!), light candles or dim the lights and buy yourself some underwear that makes you feel sexy as hell. If you are in the mood believe me he will not be thinking about your stretch marks!!!

Good luck honey, have a great time x

There's no reason why a man shouldn't be interested in you! I'm sure you're lovely and he fancies the pants off you . I think I met a lot of men who were just tired of women having an extended adolescence, whereas being a single mum makes you grow up quickly and become independent!

I dated quite a few men after splitting up with ex, it was years before I settled down a bit. So I agree with holding back wrt meeting the children. I had a friend at school who would get upset about the various men her mum dated, appearing and disappearing out of her life, so I've always borne that in mind.

Some people can be a bit judgy I think - if you don't need to tell them anything, I'd just keep it quiet for now.

Thanks for the replies . I told my FIL today which I was so worried about (but he is my only local babysitter and didn't want to let him babysit without knowing what was going on). But he was really pleased for me. Think he has felt sorry for me for so long that he is happy that I am happy

Oh and I totally agree I will be keeping him away from the kids for as long as possible. He has been to my house while the kids were in bed but I knew they wouldn't wake up and I put the stair gate across in case they did!

Well meeting him again this week, going to a nice little pub. He did suggest going to his instead but I like the idea of going out and it being Mutual ground etc and then there is no pressure to do anything. (Although to be fair I got through a full bottle of wine the other night on my own and was pretty drunk, at my house with him, so if he was planning on taking advantage then he had the perfect opportunity! And he wasn't at all like that )

Bless ya!

I split up with my husband in August and started seeing someone pretty much straight away. He met the kids in December and stays over a couple of times a week.

I've got 3 kids and some very wobbly bits and you'll never guess what, BF seems to quite like them

Thanks for that reply! Ex H is staying here as from today (it's the only way he sees the kids ) so he is babysitting, which maybe a bit weird but I need to get out!

Another one here with wobbly bits (twin pregnancy and jelly belly following C-section) ... am also six years older than my new man who seems not only to be not bothered but regularly tells me how much he loves my body ...

Had the same qualms re introducing him to the kids/sleepovers but as my x is not around to share custody/have kids for weekends - it is staying over at mine or nothing ...

I think you have to go with your instinct and if you do introduce him, do it in a fairly low key way. To my kids, my bf is just a friend of mine who sleeps over some times as he can't always get home after we've been out.

Above all try not to worry what he thinks and just enjoy yourself and your relationship - after all if he likes you, he'll like your body too!