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Lone parents

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Original poster

Anyone else not interested in dating?

15 replies

NewPatchesForOld · 06/02/2011 16:29

I've been a single mum for 4 years now, a couple of relationships along the way, neither of which worked out. And now I find I really can't be bothered with the thought of dating. I have 3 kids (2 teens and a younger one), I'm studying, I have friends but the thought of dating - starting all over again - seems like such hard work. Tentatively been on dating sites, but have come off now as I feel like I'm just not ready. In short I am really happy with my life and yet friends won't let it rest, they think I should be dating hence the dating sites.
It's not just me is it?

OP posts:

Earlybird · 06/02/2011 16:38

Hmm - think I'm with you.

I want a good relationship very much, but hate the idea of dealing with dating BS. My life is pretty good atm - admittedly, a big black hole in the romance area - but don't want to deal with the gameplayers, clingy people, etc.

I suppose at this point, I almost think if I haven't found someone by now, chances of that person materialising are very slim.

But also know that Mr. Wonderful is not going to simply show up at the front door......

gillybean2 · 06/02/2011 18:01

I would like to share my life with someone, but not if I have to go through the whole dating mayhem.

The last time put me off completely. I mean, why can't people just be honest about who they are and what they want out of life. Instead we have to play out some elaborate game, be guarded in what we say and hide our feelings for fear of frightening him off. If you're capable and get on with running your home, bring up kids etc you get told you don't appear to need anything from them and they feel unwanted. If you put your dc above them they feel second rate. And if you tell them you want to settle down share your life with someone they run a mile because you're too needy/clingy.

Frankly I don't have the time or the energy for it any more.

Pretty much of the opinion that the chances of finding anyone decent amongst all the waste of spaces out there is minimal. Particularly as I've given up looking, give online dating a wide berth now and don't go out anywhere! You only have to peek into teh realtionships thread to see that a lot of people are miserable in tehir relationships :(

gettingeasier · 06/02/2011 18:08

There have been a couple of threads about this on relationships recently.

I have been single a year now and am very content but its been a tough year (my xh left)and its taken me a lot of effort and determination to get through with my emotional wellbeing intact.

I find now my life is great ,really busy with lots of friends around and I focus on my dc a lot too. I am 44 and have always but always had a man in my life and now I am discovering to my surprise that actually being single is a lot more calm and peaceful and just generally great.

Doubtless as time goes on I may change my mind so for now I am savouring not having the burdens of wanting or being in a relationship!

makemeskinny · 06/02/2011 19:21

At risk of becoming a crazy cat lady I am now putting my trust in fate and if its meant to be it'll happen.

makemeskinny · 06/02/2011 19:22

oo that seemed very blunt...must add on

ALL MEN ARE PLEBS!!

much better!!

lilacisinlove · 06/02/2011 19:50

I was dating just to get out of the house, meet new people and go to new places. After two months and about 8 men, never more than three dates with each, and some of them were lovely but not for me, I then met somebody who turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me besides my girls. I didn't want a serious relationship and didn't feel that having a man around would enhance my life. I have certainly changed my mind since I met him, though!

I'm 42 and he's 46 and we never expected to meet someone and feel like this, having accepted that we were most likely to be single for ever!

You never know what's around the corner.

Earlybird · 06/02/2011 19:52

lilacs - how were you meeting these men? And where/how did you meet your special chap?

mrscynical · 06/02/2011 19:52

The thought of becoming a crazy cat lady becomes more and more alluring as time goes on.

Some friends of mine are in mindblowingly awful partnerships (which they recount to me regularly) but then feel 'sorry' for me being single.

I have come to the conclusion that if you meet a great bloke the best situation would be to keep separate homes and just meet up for dates or holidays. I think this arrangement would also keep the sex exciting for far longer than in most relationships. How do you go about finding a man who would want this? There must be some somewhere.

WherecanIhide · 06/02/2011 19:59

lilacisinlove I've had a sneaky peek at your photo

You are a stunna - it is obvious you'll never be short of male admiration

lilacisinlove · 06/02/2011 21:59

Thanks, wherecanIhide! My man can't believe his luck . He might not be male model material but he's very stylish and he makes me melt when I look at him, that's enough for me.

As for where I met him, and all the others, I'm in London so there's a lot more choice around here. I joined Lovestruck after seeing an ad on the underground.

AllDirections · 08/02/2011 21:45

I've been a single parent for nearly 5 years and I love being single. I have my children, a job I love and lots of friends. I tried dating last year but it just interfered too much with the status quo.

earwicga · 08/02/2011 21:51

'At risk of becoming a crazy cat lady I am now putting my trust in fate and if its meant to be it'll happen.'

Me too. I have had 5 stray cats adopt the food bowl in my house in the last couple of years so looks like this is my fate

hissymissy · 08/02/2011 23:18

Life's much simpler without a big hairy child man. I sometimes get jealous when friends of mine talk about the latest holiday their man is taking them on, etc. But the truth is, I always end up with men who are not only broke, but work-shy, lazy and self serving. I just miss sex, that's all. Been considering getting a rampant rabbit. Going to have an Ann Summers party for my birthday, what you recon?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 09/02/2011 19:38

I like being single. Ds and I sleep in the same bed which is the size of a lake. I can eat biscuits and have a torch under the blankets.

I dont have to clean Xh's poo from the toilet or listen to him fart.

I am on three dating sites but never answer any messages.

Tried having a relationship recently but it seemed so childish and hard work I knocked it on the head. By text

Never want or need sex again.

When I met Exh I fell quickly in love. What a load of horse shit.

Never again.

gillybean2 · 09/02/2011 20:08

sorry to go off topic but just wanted to say thank you to UnlikelyAmazonian as your profile made me laugh (in a good way). Your pictures are gorgeous too :)

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