Stay in the family home or rent elsewhere?

[BettyBoobs]

We have a house, part way through a big extension, it's in a bit of a mess.

We need to split. Both unhappy. Both agreed.

Do I stay in the house with the children? I wont be able to finish the building work and can't sell like this.

Do I leave and rent? But would this not be unsettling for the children to return back to their previous home. And I can't afford to buy all new white goods.

WWYD?

What would I do?

I would stay in the house together until the big extension is finished and then sell the house and go separate ways.

Is this a possibility for you?

Is there any reason you have to split immediately?

you can get lots of stuff on freecycle sites locally or second hand shops for white goods.

depends what you want and what the other person wants to do.

if you sitting discussing amicably then set out pros and cons.

I faced a similar decision a year ago.

House was in exH's name - however - he was happy to let me stay and him move out.

However, it needed major work doing to it and was alreayd in negative equity. I knew that I would never be able to afford that, plus a whole other range of issues re-staying in the house of a financial nature.

So I moved - with the DS's into rented. exH stayed in the house for nearly a year (he's just started renting it out and is living elsehwere now). DS's visited him there and it never caused any issues for them.

That was the second time we split, the first time was in 2008. I had vowed to stick it out until we were both in a financial position to move (at that point I was going to stay in the house) - however, the reality was that we simply couldn't continue living in the sam ehouse for the length of time needed. So he moved out.

If things are amicable - with no arguments, I suppose it is possible, but my experience of trying to stick it out until being in a better position to go separate wasy swas that it didn't work.

I left the marital home with our children and use tax credits / housing benefit to survive! Worked quite well because I found a place and gave myself 3 weeks to move in - so the kids got used to it as I moved bits over slowly.

Freecycle is fantastic - furnished most of my house from it!

My ex put the house up for sale and redecorated it - it never gave my children (8 & 10 at the time) any issues going "back" to that house to visit their dad. Eventually he sold it and moved on. They now go and visit at his new house so it worked well.

Thank you every body.

Deebray, you've really helped me.

Thank you.