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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Are there any dating sites that AREN'T filled with munters???

22 replies

NoSoapInADirtyWar · 03/02/2011 09:10

???

Okay so I'm not MissWorld or anything but I see no point replying to messages from people who I am not attracted to physically at all. Yes I know thats very shallow of me but it's just how I feel and I'm sure I'm not the only one!

So come on ladies I want recommendations of sites where the pics don't look like the cast of crimewatch!

OP posts:

JustForThisOne · 03/02/2011 09:47

which one have you tried?

Original poster

NoSoapInADirtyWar · 03/02/2011 10:12

POF I know, I know!

I am registered to eharmony but got half way though the questionnaire and lost the will to live! Will have to go back and finish it.

I'm reluctant to spend money but I am guessing the sites where you do have to stump up some money will put off the time wasters so I should maybe just try it??

Most people in my area seem to go out round town, get hammered in a loud noisy crowded pub/club and try it on with some random drunkard. Not my cup of tea at all, I grew out of that a loong time ago.

OP posts:

Amieesmum · 03/02/2011 10:22

Sigh damm i know what you mean.

I'm yet to find one, although MSF used to be pretty good.

The guys where i live are freaks, I moved from Hertfordshire to somewhere far less respectful about 2 years ago, all the men round here are just awful!

Ah well :D

Original poster

NoSoapInADirtyWar · 03/02/2011 10:34

Yep.

The area I live in has a bit of a Jeremy Kyle majority unfortunately. sigh. I don't want someone in a peaked baseball cap, someone whose photo looks like a police mugshot, a woman after a 3some, I could go on....

There are some lookers in my area on pof but they are obvious players. Again, not my thng. If I want an innapropriate shag that's gonna be good at the time but actually lower my self esteem then I already have a number in my phone book thanks! :D

Lately I've felt quite lonely, and really wanted a bit of adult company - I miss having someone to curl up with or chat to about my day.

OP posts:

Amieesmum · 03/02/2011 13:41

sounds familiar, not in east midlands are you? lol

I don't do the whole no strings thing, it's a waste of time, and people who can spell their own name and speak in sentences! Is that so much to ask? lol

I'm happy on my own, but miss going out to cinema, dinner, cuddles by the fire etc.

Niceguy2 · 03/02/2011 13:50

Hmmm

So let me get this straight.

You are no Miss World but expect good looking men to be in abundance mailing you and waiting for you to mail them back?
If they are "lookers" then they're obviously players so not your thing.
If they are not "lookers" then they're part of the Jezza Kyle majority so again....not your thing.
You've not actually met any of these men so are judging writing them off based upon a photo online.

May I suggest that unless you give someone a chance then you won't find anyone no matter what website you go on or where in life you decide to try to meet men?

Amieesmum · 03/02/2011 14:06

Niceguy

I don't think thats quiet what she meant. When you look at some ones profile, yes you judge the photo, but the profile as well.

It's usually easy to spot who the players are, not all of them are good looking, but i must say a fair few of the hot guys aren't looking for dating and things just.. well you know

I haven't used a dating site for over a year since the last guy i met was a bit of a nightmare it's put me off a little

I don't think she was implying they are JK material just becuase they are ugly either. There's alot of guys on there who are wearing their hoodies and baseball caps, with no concept of english language, that are obviously trouble, again you don't know this just by looking at their picture, but their profile info as well.

There are great men about, just don't think there are many of them on free dating sites.

As for the miss world bit i can't comment for PO, but i'm pretty confident about myself & my figure, I've not got page 3 looks or body, but i like me the way i am, i'm sure this is what she meant :D

dadaz · 03/02/2011 14:42

Avoid dating sites like the plague.

Real life is a market where you can test a relationship (Pre-physical)and spot anythng you don't like before commiting.

If you don't get out that much then rely on quality as opposed to quantity when meeting company.

Maybe dating sites are just designed as an ego boost althugh due to anonymity that boost could be false and mre damaging in itself.

yogididabooboo · 03/02/2011 14:43

have you actually googled what a "munter" is?

i think you may need to change your turn of phrase...or not.

Original poster

NoSoapInADirtyWar · 03/02/2011 15:02

"Munter is a British sexual slur used to refer to a remarkably ugly person of the opposite sex ..."

Yep, that's what I thought it meant, sorry if my use of the word offends you.

And yes, I mean despite my slight mummy tummy and the occasional dark circles around my eyes from sleep deprivation I am comfortable with my appearance and the compliments I receive. I'm not full of it but I don't cry into my pillow over my looks either.

I just think for a relationship to develop there has to be at least some physical attraction.

I don't just look at people's photos but as I am not looking for no stirngs sex I read people's profiles to see what they are looking for and have noticed most of the rather dishy guys are very honest (good for them) that they are looking only for no strings sex.

OP posts:

yogididabooboo · 03/02/2011 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

girliefriend · 03/02/2011 20:05

Think thats uncalled for - you have just made me feel rather sick yogi and I think you know that isn't what was meant.

I am with you op - I think match.com or similiar are bit better than some of the others I've tried......

dadaz · 03/02/2011 21:02

What did it mean then?

Calling Men Munters is somewhat Misanthropistic .

elastamum · 03/02/2011 21:40

I'm in east midlands. A lot of sites dont have that many people on them outside of london. Match is Ok. MSF isnt great here. There are some nice men round here, but you have to look hard to find them

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 04/02/2011 17:15

Guardian Soul Mates has got some really attractive and interesting men on it. However, whilst it is free to put up a profile, it will cost you £30.00 a month if you actually want to be able to communicate with anyone. Also, it is very London based so the success you have with it very much depends on where you are I think.

Some lush blokes though....

ladyjadey · 04/02/2011 20:23

I met a guy from POF. 5 months on he is still on the scene and he is one hell of a catch (excuse the pun!!) He took on a lot with me as I have 2 young kids and he is wonderful with them - he also has 2. He is not ugly or stupid or a player. I have to defend internet dating, it's hard getting out when you are a single mum and I would never have met him otherwise! I have had some dating disasters too mind you, but it's not all bad! There are some good ones out there!

Original poster

NoSoapInADirtyWar · 04/02/2011 20:49

Thanks all for the suggestions, I will have a look around some other sites.

ladyjadey - that's really great that you've found someone lovely. I do often worry that my situation with my son would be a big ask for someone to take on but I live in hopethat there are still some good blokes around.

Pleased to see the message that almost made me vomit yesterday has been deleted (and no, it wasn't me that asked for it to be).

OP posts:

ladyjadey · 04/02/2011 20:57

I have 2 kids to 2 dads which makes me sound like a jeremy kyle mum (I'm not I promise) and DD2 is only 6 months old. This guy has took on A LOT with me, particularly as we met when she was but a few weeks old. I was just looking for some adult company(and by that I mean scrabble and wine not a quick one!)and not at all expecting to find a man who is so totally wonderful off a crappy dating site!

I'm not saying they are all great on there but it's worth a shot!

Toastiewoastie · 05/02/2011 00:50

I think it must depend on geography, TBH. Here in devon there are fewer people per mile, therefore fewer posibilities of meeting compatible people.

I have kind of given up on internet dating because the only men I find interesting and remotely attractive seem to live hundreds of miles away.

Unfortunately there are a lot of men round here who are either extremely unattractive, illiterate or mentally unhinged. I am sure there are plenty of women who are equally unappealing, but as I'm not looking at their profiles, I can't comment. I don't consider myself particularly shallow, but I do feel that a lot of men don't really bother to try very hard in their profile. I mean, it's great to be authentic and be yourself, but part of the attraction is that someone makes an effort. For example, a quick snap of someone in the most un-flattering pose, unshaven, with an attractive blonde female, along-side a profile that shows a complete lack of literacy skills and imagination is a total put-off. At the very least they could spell-check their profile. And (cringe), txt spk!

Asteria · 05/02/2011 01:11

OP - what sort are you looking for? I'm a bit of a bumpkin and have had fun meeting some really nice men on Muddy Matches (one shortlived relationship that helped stave off the cobwebs and some really great guys that I have become friends with). There seem to be quite a lot in the South West too...
MSF is good too - the effort to get a profile up and running usually equates to a more serious intention. POF in my experience (via a friend who was on there) is mostly used by the less well intentioned male wanting a bit on the side!

NewPatchesForOld · 05/02/2011 09:54

I've used a dating site for the absolute final time. One man's first question to me was can I iron and can I polish muddy boots well. Then any e mail I got from him was just mumbo jumbo, I mean literally a series of symbols and letters like he'd judt banged the keyboard a few times.
Another man was really full of himself, and his show jumping and told me that he's been on the site for 12 months and goes on an average of 10 different dates a month. Oh, and he'd have a problem with a woman weighing more than him.
One bloke e mailed me and asked me for my mobile number on his very first contact, which is ridiculous - why would you expect someone's phone number when you haven't so much as said hello.
I just can't be doing with it, it's a minefield. I will leave it to chance meetings and let life just happen.

Mobly · 05/02/2011 11:21

No. The parenting ones are horrendous. Actually, that's not entirely true, the women on there look nice. The men all look old enough to be my dad, and I'm no spring chicken.

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