Hi,
I wanted you nice people to calm me down and stop me from having an argument I don't want to have.
The bf/man I am currently dating lives at home with his parents, and this evening on the phone told me that his dad had called an estate agent mate to ask for help with looking for a flat (for my bf to move into).
For some reason I saw red and told him I'd talk to him later.
It infuriates me that although I've mentioned to him before that he should move out, get a bit of independence, practice living alone and find out how hard it is to take care of yourself - he has to wait for daddy to sort it out for him.
I bet he hasn't done any research or anything for himself.
On the other hand, why is it my problem? I do want a partner with parents who will help him e.g. if we were buying a house and they're the kind of parents to just naturally take over and help out then they're likely to be a great help.
His parents are a bit of an issue, as he does seem to be a major mummys/daddys boy and does sport with them, holidays with them and generally has never had to do anything without them. I believe his mum got him his job.
He has an older sister who, I presume, did lots of housework and wowed them all with her fabulous housework and cooking. I think she applied to uni herself and got herself through that. He even told me he'd sort out a birthday cake for me. And the next words were, "I'll get my sister to bake it."
I've got my son, so really what is it to me if he always goes to mum and dad when he needs something to get done?
The only thing is, I've been out of my parents house since I went to University 9 years ago and dealt with all the worst kind of financial situations and housing situations and I am very capable and able. He is also capable, but he doesn't need to think for himself with parents like that.
He calls me on their housephone without a care, he leaves his clothes on the floor and its not a problem, his dad bought a car for him, and the money he is giving back to his dad is being sorted out for him to go into a pension.
I sort these things out for myself and would never ask my parents to do these things for myself although for example, might call my mum up when I'm buying a car and check if the car and insurance i'm planning to purchase sound sensible to her.
Why does it annoy me so much?
What should I say to him, he hasn't actually been a bad bf or done anything wrong, in fact I know he is currently putting a great deal of thought into my birthday party.