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Lone parents

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Original poster

what happens to UK fathers who defy court orders to pay maintenance?

20 replies

ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 13:15

If anything at all happens to them? Would it show up on a police vetting check? or affect their credit rating?

thanks.

OP posts:
veritythebrave · 30/01/2011 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eglu · 30/01/2011 15:40

I don't know the answer to this, but I think that we should have a system like they do in the US. Fathers who don't pay maintenance can have passports, driving licenses taken away, and can go to jail.

gillybean2 · 30/01/2011 15:55

Hmm, do we feel the same about mothers who withhold contact?

Why would it be court ordered anyhow? Isn't that what the CSA does now?

Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 16:01

What does your court order say?

Eglu · 30/01/2011 16:10

I do feel the same way about Mothers who withhold contact. THe only people who really suffer in those situations are the children.

I find it awful that children are used as pawns in adult arguments. My parents divorced when I was young and luckily I never had to suffer any of that. I have a good friend who is a teacher and she sees the fallout of these situations in her classroom.

Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 16:48

I don't know enough to make a generalisation, but as far as I know the word "prison" is mentioned as a possible consequence both of withholding contact or not paying maintenance.

There are many reasons why parents can stop maintenence or contact.

Contact can be stopped out of anger, spite or a genuine and well based desire to protect children from further harm.

Maintenance can be stopped out of anger, spite or a genuine lack of means to pay it.

The OP is just asking what happens to those that do not pay... well, I would say that not much, with luck one day the CSA will fall on them like a pile of bricks and make them pay maintenance even retrospectively, it is a long and painful road I'm afraid.

MummieHunnie · 30/01/2011 19:14

I heard of a lady who had an exh who didn't pay child maintenance who had the money, due to his spite. It took about 10 years, eventually the csa got a court order and forced him to sell his home, to pay her I think it was £46k in back child support, she had no clue what to do with all the money!

Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 20:03

Just wondering if there's any point going to court trying to get maintenance from a father who lives in the UK but whose children are in Ireland.... reading the boards on chat rooms on irish parenting forums it seems like if the fathers don't pay nothing happens to them. My children's dad can see them whenever he likes btw.

MummieHunnie, what a dream come true!

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Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 20:04

Eglu, Ime teachers have their eyes out on sticks really keen to see evidence of troubled young souls. Even if the children are absolutely fine.

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HerBeX · 30/01/2011 20:05

Erm... nothing?

MummieHunnie · 30/01/2011 20:06

Contact a solicitor and see what they say, can you temporarly move to NI or England for a bit? until you get an order and then move back? a bit mean on the kids though for their continuity, it depends on how despirate you are for money for them really.

Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 20:12

MummieHunnie, realistically I'm not going to move to NI even if it were the only way of getting money out of their father. I'd rather leave them in one place and let them be near their friends and family.

I'm not a bitch btw. The split was hideous, their Dad very angry and determined to make me suffer, but in the last 4 years I have swallowed my pain, anger & frustration and he's rolled up to see them whenever it suits him. He knows they'll be 'ok' (although financially it is getting harder tbh) but he knows that I wouldn't let them do without anything they really need. He abuses that knowledge that I will make sacrifices for them. He can afford to make none, knowing that I am a good selfless mother. He used to tell me I was a shit mother and that I was lazy and stupid and ugly. But basically, I think he knows full well that they are in safe hands with me, so he carries on as he is. A wealthy single man with no commitments. His reasoning for paying nothing is that he has to visit Ireland every 5 weeks or so, but he flies ryanair and comes for the afternoon, gets the bus to my house !! he is not one to overspend.

OP posts:
Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 20:14

But yes, I think a trip to a solicitor is going to have to be on the cards at some point in the near future. I wasn't strong enough for battle before. But now that I'm over the split I could handle a court battle with a bit more detachment. Before, if he'd won (ie, got away with not paying) it'd be like he'd crushed me all over again and I think that would have made me crazy.

My daughter so needs braces... I look in her gob and I think oh shit I need three grand!

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Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 30/01/2011 20:14

And she has his teeth!

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MummieHunnie · 30/01/2011 20:28

Valium, ask your solicitor to write to him asking he pay for the correction of his teeth in your dd's gob, I bet you miss the nhs in Ireland.

If he doesn't then take him to court.

Maelstrom · 31/01/2011 14:48

Valium... balance the cost against what you will get. Unfortunately, it is not easy to persuade a parent abroad to pay for maintenance even with a court order, simply because there are not many ways to enforce such order. So you basically rely on his good will, and once courts get in, that good will is most likely gone.

Taking this through solicitors is a financial nightmare. Are you prepared to spend 10,000s of pounds (yes, that's a 5 figure number) on getting this case through? How much is this going to affect you and your children financially AND emotionally? Are you at risk of loosing more than what you will get? (P.S. Do NOT EVEN CONSIDER moving to be in the same country as your ex to try to get such order, it is very likely that you won't be allowed to take your children back with you).

I would try to get money from him in more diplomatic ways first rather than trust an order created in one country to be enforced in another one.

gillybean2 · 31/01/2011 16:48

It is not hopeless, but not easy. Look here...

www.csa.gov.uk/en/case/remo.asp

Original poster
ValiumSandwichTime · 01/02/2011 12:05

Thank you Maelstrom, MH and gb2.

He has no good will...... Confused That's the way he is. Accept that reality, or go crazy, that's been my motto recently.

I've heard of the REMO alright, but if a court order can be defied, it doesn't really help.

Think my 'plan' such as it is will be to get my mother to ask him to look in dd's mouth and ask if he'd pay for braces. That will be the first time that his saying 'no' will truly impact negatively upon her. So it is scary to ask. If he says no, it's out there. It's not just that he can't stand for me to inadvertently benefit from maintenance, but he really can't won't sacrifice anything no matter what.. Shock

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gillybean2 · 01/02/2011 16:03

If you have a court order (Through REMO) he would be arrested for non payment should he enter the UK (whether anything more would happen I couldn't say).

Presumably he comes to visit your dd/UK sometime? If the Irish authorities don't enforce it (which they should) then you can make it difficult for him to enter the UK by reporting that you know he will be entering the UK and is in violation of a court order when/if he tries.

Ring the court re REMO, what do you have to loose?

oldraver · 04/02/2011 19:34

I beleive CSA have thw power to confiscate driving licenses to those who refuse to pay. Whether they actually ever do is another thing

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