Separation and overnight stays

[embug]

HI,
I have separated from my 18 month old daughter's father. They have a very good relationship, he is very involved and sees her every weekend, several times during the week. He is keen to start having her overnight ... but I just don't feel ready for that yet.

My daughter still wakes very early in the morning but I am working on getting her to go back to sleep with the help of cuddles and water, so I am adamant that I want that in place before we consider an overnight.

I wanted to know what your views are: at what age is it ok attachment wise for an overnight to take place?

Thanks!

I think that it should be fine for him to have her now if he has been in regular contact. It might be tough on you at first but in the long term you will be doing her and him and yourself a favour. I used to leave my 12 month old with grandparents eveery now and again, she will have a much closer bond with her father.

I think that anything you can do to help the bond between father and daughter would be for the best. I feel for you, it must be very difficult, and unfortunately I am very near the brink of splitting up with my H and have 3 children with him including a baby, so I totally understand your concerns.

But I also speak as someone who lost contact with their biological father as a result of divorce. If he wants to get more involved in her life, that is a fantastic thing, he sounds like a good dad, so I think you should go for it and try and enjoy the lie in!!!

Children are remarkably adaptable, she will be fine.

I think that as he's her dad and so involved there is no reason he shouldn't have her over night now.

I think you run the risk of damaging their father/daughter bond if you refuse to 'allow' overnights; but more importantly, it sounds like this is a great dad and you have a long way to go in separated parenting. Assuming that you have the power to dictate what contact they have (I am adamant) rather than agreeing a way forward (perhaps with the help of a mediator)will set up resentment and power struggles.

He might just be able to manage giving her a cuddle and a glass of water, you know.

Thanks everyone!

I do not want XH to have our DD overnight for various reasons (mental health, alcohol abuse, distance he has chosen to move, inability to care for DD when he was here) If it was just him, no health issues, close by I wouldn't have any problem with it. He sounds like a good parent (from what you said about close bond) so I'm sure he'd be open to a joint approach on the EMW.