What to do at the weekend when DC don't see NRP?

[NomNomNom]

Hi all,

I was wondering how you spend your weekends when your DC don't see their other parent. I have a DD who is almost 2, at the weekend she usually sees her dad for about 2 hrs one day and 4 hrs the other.

I am really struggling to fill the time at the weekend, tbh. Makes me feel like a crap boring mummy. Usually I drag her out for a pointless walk just so she gets tired enough to go to sleep at a reasonable time. We watch quite a lot of tv because I'm just so tired all the time.

Most of the time I feel like I wouldn't be able to cope with taking her further afield on my own just in case she has a tantrum, or throws food around etc. I know I need to get over that.

I know 1 single dad at the moment (have a bit of a crush on him I think), no one else who's on their own. Not really many friends, especially not with children. Haven't really bonded with anyone at toddler groups.

Please help!

DD is older than yours now but when she was a toddler I used to love taking her out every weekend, just the two of us. We live in London so we'd go around the parks, various festivals, galleries, museums, cinema, free outdoor shows, the library, swimming... I actually miss those days now as weekends are now full of extra sports sessions/music lessons.

I never really bothered with toddler groups and preferred to just do our own thing tbh. Being independent is one of the best things about being a single mum - not having to agree on plans with someone else. Sometimes we'd just jump on the tube and explore somewhere new that I'd never been to before.

Coping with tantrusm was difficult at first but I found most fellow parents understanding; some people would tut but I soon learnt to ignore them!

Firstly forget about tantrums and food. Most people hardly notice and if they do who cares? The only way she improve is through learning in action.

Park, library, post office (send a letter to her- she will treasure it when you arent around) bake cakes (I really should do this myself) and if all else fails check out netmums for local listings! Where are you roughly?

Go to woods/beach?

Short train journey?

And try all the toddler groups a few times- it takes a while

Thank you, they're some great ideas. I suppose it'll get easier when the weather is better, and there'll be more to do in the summer months. We're about an hour by train from the beach, so that'll make a nice day trip in the summer. I've been thinking of taking her swimming, ought to get round to doing that really.

We're quite limited when it comes to toddler groups as we live in a not very big city (more of a town really) and I don't drive. We do go to the library occasionally.

It's a good point about learning in action, I do agree. It's just when I think about going somewhere, it all seems like an unsurmountable obstacle and like I could never manage on my own.

With respect to taking her out for the day, to eat or whatever, I completely understand what you mean. I have 2 daughters 3.5 and 4.5, I have been a single parent since they were about to turn 1 and 2 years. I have always taken them out, sometimes we would come back and I would wonder why I bothered, but when it did all go ok, and it is so much better now than say when they were both under 3, I would feel so proud of having gone and had a good time just the 3 of us. As someone else said I do think that taking young children out helps them to understand how they should behave when out in different situations and means that before you know it they will realise that it is fun when they behave and everyone has a good time.

what happens on a week day? do you get out the house? what is different?
start small - go to shop at end of road to buy some crayons then come home and drwa together.
it is alovely age where they gettign curious abut everything and doing teh same walk to same park isnt boring to them - get down to her level see what she sees, take time let her walk and touch/feel things (within reason obviously - diff walls, textures is good - collect diff shaped leaves and twigs... dog poo isnt)
walk to park
go to a garden centre.
go on a town bus somewhere (anywhere - take it to tesco and have a drink in the cafe).
library.
swiming.
soft play.

start to think of child's eye view -what is boring to you is adventure for her.
it's all a learning experience and the more you put into it the more fun it will be...
keep up running commentary to her oh look at that look at his counting cars. pointing out diff colour doors on houses

i think you have to force yourself to go out soemwhere each day - even if it is only a five minute walk up the road to post a letter to yourself. the more you do it - the easier it will be.start small and build up gradually as you get more confident..

the less you do it - the harder and you will get more insular and stuck to the tv...

My ex has the kids for 5 hours on a Sunday so on a Saturday we always walk our dog and pop to the shops but other stuff we do is:

Swimming
Park
Visit friends
Museums

I try and find things to do that don't cost much as I have 3 kids so it mounts up.

Thank you, all of you. You make it all sound so idyllic. Thanks for all the ideas and sharing your experiences.

During the week DD is at nursery for 4 mornings, so on those days we usually have a calm afternoon playing and reading books, plus a lot of time is taken up by cooking and sorting stuff out.

She's a really easy toddler so far, really lovely and generally cheerful, and she'd really enjoy doing more different things. It's just me who can't cope with stuff.

I will give your ideas a go. Thanks again, it's really helpful.