I found this cruel and unnecessary on divorce document

[WeepinWillow]

Husband is divorcing me and I have received the court papers (sorry I am a bit vague on legal side but seeing a solicitor next week for the first time).

I am not handling it very well at all. Married for nearly 30 years and he is living with someone else although he denies it (compulsive liar in fact).

What has cut through me is what he has put on the papers. He has claimed the marriage broke down 14 years ago, the year our youngest was born. As far as I was concerned, we were happily married for another 8 years or so until I first suspected him of cheating.

I feel like he has made a mockery of everything I believed in. I am so scared my DC would one day see this. What an awful thing to discover. Youngest DD struggles so much with the split anyway, I know she would be devastated to think it was all over by the time she was born.

Am I over reacting and being too sensitive? Just when I think I am recovering, he always seems to be bring me down.

He left me eventually 3 years ago and for one reason or another continues to make my life very difficult.

speaking as a fellow divorcee your children will never see this
tbh i have erased alot of this legal stuff from my mind,but is this his petition?
i divorced my exh so obv didn't receive those papers but you can contest it if you wish,however it will be costly
i'm guessing here that he's opting for the 2yrs separation?
why haven't you sought legal advice before?

Hi, thank you for replying.

Yes it is the petition stamped by court. I have been so pathetic and burying my head in sand as he insisted we need to be amicable and not use solicitors. He promised many things verbally but has now backed down so I do need legal help now.

I saw a solicitor when he first moved out who encouraged me to take whatever he was offering as he said it is not worth hassle of fighting it out in court - not even money/assets I suppose!

I just expected to see the 2 year separation grounds and didnt expect the rest of the details. If noone else can ever see them, I will not worry so much but was concerned the children in years to come may need copies (for some unknown reason!) and this would jump off the page.

Go to the CAB for advice here or ask another sol for your half an hour free time. They won't charge and then you may be in a better position to find out what you can do, whether you need/want a sol and how much it is likely to cost you.

It may well be that in his eyes the marriage did break down when he says it did (in HIS eyes). It may be he's saying it to justify it to himself or to prove to the OW that he's only been hanging about for the dc. Whatever the reason he is being an arse and basically doesn't want to admit his adultery.

I would say that if you take the view that your ex is going to fleece you in every way possible and has proved he is incapable of being honest, decent and truthful and that you therefore need to protect yourself and your dc's interests here then there is no way you wouldn't be getting legal advice.

am shocked by the awful advice that you were given about taking whatever was offered!
as gillybean has advised get yourself down to the CAB for advice or find another recommended family law solicitor and get that half hour for free
do your homework before you go and take a list of q's along with you,written down if needs be
i would strongly recommend seeking mediation with exh as this will set out the grounds for your consent order and stop all that messing about with arguing the toss between the two solicitors,remember that every letter,every phone call costs you money!
is dd getting the support that she needs in school right now?
or does she have another sympathetic adult who she can talk to?
my dcs really benefitted from this