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Original poster

how to tell my DS we've separated

3 replies

nickynok · 18/01/2011 15:34

I have a 4 year old sensitive DS and his father moved out at the weekend...mostly consentual but with me opening the conversation to this conclusion. I work full time and his dad has agreed to continue with the childcare outside school but he's living with me rest of the time. To date he's just been told that his dad is living with Grandad to keep him company. His dad wants to tell him the truth and I do agree but want to explain it to DS so that he doesn't blame himself or think that if he rows with us we will leave him...any help/advice/stories??

OP posts:
LittleBeaut · 18/01/2011 22:50

Aw chick I remember having to tell my boys a few years ago when their dad walked out on me leaving me to tell them what had happend. I think I just told them that Dad and me were a bit fed up of shouting at each other and so Dad has gone to stay at Nana and Grandads for a little while. I told them that Dad would be picking them up every weekend and they would sometimes sleep at Nana's and sometimes they would just go for the day. And that me and Dad would always love them very much.

I think you have to try and be as honest as you can, in a simple way dont you??

Anything else I can do to help (if I've been any help at all) let me know.

Good luck and chin up chuck x

TrappedinSuburbia · 18/01/2011 23:08

I done a total body swerve on any nastiness, p moved in with his mum who had dementia, so told ds that he was at his mums most of the time to look after her as she was sick, he still came up every other day or so to see ds and prior to this, we could work 24hr shifts so ds was pretty used to one of us not being there for this length of time.
This punctuated by frequent phone calls to ds and he has stopped asking when p is coming home all the time ( a couple of months down the line ).
p is due to get his own house soon and ds is getting pretty excited about this (have put it in the most positive light possible).

Original poster
nickynok · 19/01/2011 16:02

Thanks Ladies, we haven't had much shouting actually; it was more not even being in the same rooms as he felt DS preferred to be with me rather than him so avoided giving Ds the choice. So from Ds point of view mummy and daddy didn't do anything together so in many respects you could argue so what's different for him now that dad just not sleeping at home anymore...We are meeting up soon to discuss more as clearly we need to be aligned on the message. Scary dary stuff

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