new lone parent on the block!

[refmum]

hi,my husband and i separated at new year (great start to 2011!)

He moved out last Sunday,today is our wedding anniversary,7 years.

Anyway,just wanted to say hi

Hi refmum.
You may have been being sarcastic about the great start to your year. But ironically in time you will find that perhaps you are actually right in what you say.

It is tough for you right now I'm sure, and you will have low days, angry days, sad days and days when you cry a lot and days when you want him back and days when you grieve for your lost 'family'. But gradually you will have days when this doesn't happen so much, or even at all. ANd gradually you will see that you are still a family and maybe a better one for it.
It will take much longer than you think to get there but you will get there.

And one day you will see that you were far too good for him and that he has done you a favour by leaving. I know it may not seem that way now. That is why being here is so good because many of us in the loneparent thread know what you are going through and can support you and help you get beyond these first dark days.

Be kind to yourself and just be the best mum you can be today for your dc. Remember each day to be the best you can be, not supermum, and you'll get through.

best wishes and welcome

gillybean2 that's possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,means such alot,thanks x

Hi refmum, I've just posted too. My husband left on 2nd January, we've been married 12 years. I feel your pain. I feel a bit like I'm going mad at times, my moods are so up and down. If I feel OK for a bit, I know I'll probably feel crap later. I was really tearful at work today, which is sooo embarassing. Hope you're doing OK, I've been taking Kalms Sleep at night and they do help a bit.

Hi refmum and zumbazumba
Just wanted to say welcome.
Gillybean has wise words.
I'm a year or so down the line and now feeling sooo much better and happier. Just give yourselves some time to get used to the change and start appreciating all the good things about being without dipstick exs and free!
Look after yourselves

Hi Zumba,sorry to hear you're going through same thing,i too have a rollercoaster of emotions,have been very pro-active with sorting out new bank accounts,looking for property to rent etc...which has kept me going,also looking after my 4 sons keeps an air of normality,still have bad days too or bad moments but at the same time i'm already enjoying some things about being single again,no snoring,more food in the house (husband had big appetite!)no pressure to have sex ha ha!!,keep intouch,we can help each other x

Hi Pickgo,thanks for the welcome,glad things are coming along nicely for you x

Hi Refmum, we sound similar. I've been pretty pro-active too with bank accounts, bills, house things etc. Think its a defence mechanism, it helps me to feel in control. I suppose because he was the one that left I feel like I have no power over what was happening in my life. Funny you should mention snoring, he snores and it used to drive me mad! So thats a positive. Yesterday was a pants day, I cried a lot and just felt a bit lonely. Today, however, I feel different again, I really do feel like I'm losing my marbles! Good to know I'm not alone though.

Welcome to both of you!
Sounds like youre trying to get back some control over life.
Am 18ish mnths in a life is much easier.
Funny you should both mention the snoring!...must be a 'thing'
Reading threads on here has really helped me, dont often post but get the support anyway.
Take care and take it easy on yourselves. x

Hi iwillmakeit (a very positive nickname)

Thanks for the welcome,nice to hear that 18mths in things are easier for you.

Zumba-How are you today? hope today is a good one for you,least the sun's shining hey!

I've been out with my mum,it's my birthday next weds so she took me out to choose a present,chose a nice handbag and purse and a lovely umbrella (not allowed it til next week though)!must be a good girl and wait.

Stay strong newly single people,will will come out the other side of this even stronger and happier than before x

we will come out the other side being able to type properly too lol!