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Need a rant - apologies!

2 replies

Megmog2000 · 15/01/2011 22:10

My exh is a total and utter tosser. Im fed up of his attitude and lack of any consideration for his kids.

Bit of background - split 5 years ago - he hasnt seen DC for 4 years (his choice, or maybe the choice of his new wife). One thing I will say, is that when we were married he was a fantastic dad to DC and I NEVER thought for any second he would turn his back on the children - I obviously didnt know him that well.... (even after 15 years!) Anyway he married this other woman as soon as divorce came through, didnt tell DC he was getting married so did it after the event by sending photos of him and his 'new family' from their 'family honeymoon' to florida. He does pay child maintenance through the CSA - he used to choose to pay so now he doesnt have a choice so whilst its a pittance that I get, at least I do.

Over the past 5 years, whilst he has had very little contact with DC, he has always sent cards at birthdays and christmas, each time with either a small amount of money or an argos voucher. Its not much but DC do look forward to a bit of recognition from their dad and from that they assume that he still loves and cares for them (my opinion is very different however, not that they know my opinion - I keep that very much to myself).

Today is DD's 11th birthday, the card duly arrived in the post and DD was excited about opening it, saying 'I could get this with daddy's money'...... the look on her face when she saw the card was empty was soul destroying. Her reaction was - doesnt daddy love me anymore - why did he send money for D (brother) but not me, doesnt he care?? I tried to make excuses for him, but now she thinks he doesnt care about her and all hope she had of ever having a relationship with her dad have well and truely gone out of the window.

Personally I dont care whether he sends money or not, but I do object to him messing with DC in this way. They have an expectation and yet again he has let them down. Fortunately we have had a party planned for her and kept her occupied all day but I cant get the look of disappointment on her face out of my head.

Why are exh such arseholes???? arrrggghhhhh

Rant over. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Toastiewoastie · 15/01/2011 22:51

So sorry to hear your DD was upset like this. Can you speak to XH (calmly) about this? suggest that he talks to DD on the phone about it? Other than that there is very little you can do I'm afraid.

If it is any consolation, my DS hasn't seen his dad for 4 years, and hasn't even received so much as a birthday card in all that time (not to mention financial help).

I hear there are decent men out there, but apart from my Dad and my brother, I have yet to meet any.

Megmog2000 · 17/01/2011 10:30

Unfortunately, telephone calls are a no go - no matter how reasonable I try to be, exh refuses to even enter into a conversation with me. The limit of our communication has tended to be nasty letters from him which I suspect are dictated by his wife, and some of which are written by his wife!!

The cards and money sent at birthdays and Christmas were the childrens belief that he still cared, despite it being four years without seeing him, I think they all hold out the hope that one day he will want them again.

A very sad state of affairs really and frustrating that he is such an arse! Ive given up looking for Mr Right - he doesnt exist! lol

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