why cant i move on?

[poopeeplops]

I have been a single mum for 11mths and it jus seems to get harder, xmas was hard n I didn't expect it so tried talking to mum n dad but they seem to be over hearing me talk about the ex, I get that maybe its boring to them but if I cnt talk to them who can I talk to?! I can't seem to cut the ex out of our lives, he always let's us down, neva supported me n gives no money, hasn't seem baby in 7mths and only. Met him once, why can't I move on?! Every1 seems to think its old news and that I'm silly for still talking about it, am I silly or are they silly?

What is it you cannot move on from?
How old are you?
Do you still love him?
How long were you together?

Hi I'm 27yrs old and we wer only together for 3mths and I think there definately is a thin line between love n hate, I can't seem to put him outta my thoughts, I dnt talk to him, dnt see him, he doesn't see his son, and yet I can't let him go, why do u think that is? I think its the situation and being rejected but can't make sense of it all

Hi I'm 27yrs old and we wer only together for 3mths and I think there definately is a thin line between love n hate, I can't seem to put him outta my thoughts, I dnt talk to him, dnt see him, he doesn't see his son, and yet I can't let him go, why do u think that is? I think its the situation and being rejected but can't make sense of it all

The situation is a big part of it. This man has changed your life in a massive way. He made you pregnant and now you have a child. This will effect every part of your life from here on in.

You are living with the consequences of your relationship while he has walked away, apparently unaffected. You see him as a permanent part of your life (which he is, through your child), yet he is not even present.

You say there is a thin line between love and hate and while that may be true, your feelings towards him are the result of neither. Your feelings stem from his absence. A lack of love, a lack of hate, a lack of anything. Except that child that you have and will always have.

Nature abhors a vacuum and will seek to fill it with whatever is easiest, in your case, love and hate.

I can understand your friends and family becoming exasperated with your rants/pinings for this man. But I can totally understand your feelings of confusion and dismay. Your life will never be the same again because of your relationship with him and to you this is very unfinished business.

Write a letter/e-mail to him and don't post it. Post it here if you must but do not post it to him. That way you can get your most overwhelming feelings out. Do not destroy it. It will be useful to read later in order to clarify what is really going on inside you.

Wow thank you, I will try that, in ur opinion shud I completely lock him out or leave that door open for contact?

Wow thank you, I will try that, in ur opinion shud I completely lock him out or leave that door open for contact?

Concentrate on yourself and your child. Knowing that he could knock on the door at any time is hard, but gets easier with time.

Until he comes knocking.

When that time comes, think, think and think some more. Then ask for advice. Then think some more. You will need to get commitment from him before you allow him back into your child's life. This will involve him providing in terms of time, money and consistency. And you have every right to make him prove himself before you allow him to impact on your child's life (since he has proved himself to be a complete arse so far).

If he does, then your child will benefit from having him around, if he doesn't then get rid until he does.

In the meantime, it's you and your child. This is a great time for you two. Enjoy it. Use this time to get to know and enhance eachother. Without the toxic presence of One Who Isn't There.