Wit's end...since "Sick and alone with DCs at Xmas"

[Solo2]

I'm the OP for that thread and I'm now at the end of my tether. DS1 has had 2 2 to 3 day long vomiting and headcahe recurrences, but has been absolutely fine between times. His twin has had a more 'normal' but 2 week long tummy bug but both have been completely fine for the last 4 days.

They went back to school today and I breathed a sigh of relief, as I am WAY, WAY behind with work, including trying to get my tax return done by 31st Jan for the f/t business I run single-handedly (no accountant). Never get on top of the paperwork across the yr and always leave the entire compilation of accounts till the last minute.

I have / had today and tomorrow without DCs to so it and thousands of other verdate, urgent stuff too. The school phoned at 11am and DS1 has been v v sick indeed. Had to collect him. He was completely fine this morning, last night and for the last 4 days too.

He is now extremely sick - even more than the other two episodes - with copious vomiting and headache.

I have phoned NHS Direct and finally the GP and the GP just said see how he is overnight. It'll mean yet another night completely awake sitting by his bed. as he's too weak to push himself up to vomit in a basin.

Meanwhile, I am frighteningly behind with everything and can't even get out to buy bread and juice for DS2. I got a kind other mum to bring him back from school, as can't leave DS1. He should be home soon. She also works though so can't ask her to shop for me.

Nothing anyone can do but I just feel at my wit's end after 2 weeks of this recurring bug. I still feel on and off ill myself and DS2 isn't 100% yet either. We 'missed' the whole of the Xmas hols and have been stuck in watching TV - miserable - and now they're supposed to be back at school and me at f/t work...but DS1 is obviously quite seriously ill.

Poor ds and poor you! Lets hope it passes quickly this time.

Why don't you order home shopping for your essentials? Even if you don't need very much it's worth it to avoid having to drag the dc out when you can't and if you have to pay a bit more or buy a bit more to meet the minimum requirements then just stock up on some essentials like washing powerder and loo rolls maybe.

Can you do your TR paperwork with ds1's in the room so you can keep an eye on him while he sleeps? Obviously keep it as far away from him as possible though.
At the end of the day if your return is late it will be £100 penalty.
If the return is fairly straight forward and you know you won't have time then it might be worth paying an accountant if it's not going to be much more than the penalty and less hassle/stress for you. Remember the cost can be deducted as a business expense too.
But if your paperwork is a mess then an accountant will have to spend time sorting it out for you too which may bump the cost up enough fo ryou to simply pay the penalty and get it done next month. Try and get it in some kind of order and then if you're running short on time look at that as an option perhaps.

If you go the penalty route then guestimate what the tax will be based on last year if income similar and pay something towards it even if it's not the right amount at this point to help minimise the interest. You'll pay interest on any outstanding tax but you only get the 5% surcharge penalty after 3 months so you have time yet.

And you still have 3.5 weeks to go yet. Plenty of time! I have 148 tax returns on my to do list at work still! That's me and my 2 colleagues together though so not too bad in reality. Still though!

bloody hell, you poor thing you must be exhausted.

do you have anyone, at all you can ask to sit with dcs for you to nip to shops? or as gillybean suggested online shop. worth the few quid for delivery. you need to keep your strength up too.

i know exactly how frustrating and draining it is to sit in with ill dc's. It's such an upset to see them ill, and even more so over this long holiday.

Is there anyone who could take your well dc to school?

Thanks for the good advice gillybean and piratecat.

The parent who brought DS2 home today will take him tomorrow am too but I'll have to pick up at night. I could do an online shop but you usually have to book a slot about 4 days ahead and we need bread now. There's no one who can shop for me or sit with DS1 unfortunately.

I am emoiotnally exhausted as well as physically. It's been a terrible Xmas break and we've just been stuck in with me trying to care for everyone and jolly us along. DS2 has mild Asperger's traits so any changes to his routines are extra hard for him too. Tonight he was more upset about missing his after school club than to hear that his twin was v ill. Just made his supper and he's done homework alone and is watching TV.

DS1 wants me with him all the time. His headache is still v bad but he hasn't vomited for about 30 mins now.

I feel desperate for some time without work or children just to cacth up and get some 'head space' but when they're ill they need and want me more and from Monday it's extremely busy, full-on work for me, even if DC1 is still at home (meetings back to back all the hrs that they're at school). I was counting on these 2 days before it gets crazy again but have lost them now.

I may have to pay the £100 late tax thing. I don't really earn enough to make an accountant worth while and my accounts are pretty basic really. It's just that I have to go through the whole year's receipts and everything to check on all my expenses as I stupidly rarely make time to write them down as I go along.

Better go back to DS1 now.

oh no, huge sympathies...hope he is better soon.

we've all been with flue bugs and it's a struggle. book an online shop for next avaiable and get bread to put in freezer etc

solo, where do you live? Maybe one of us is nearby to help out.

Thanks. Been up the enitre night with DS1 who hasn't slept at all and vomited so much, including vomiting dark blood this morning and had a headache and tummy ache. Menawhile, I had sudden onset of full blown flu symptoms myself from the middle of the night. So feel like death!

Phoned GPs and after several calls back and forth where they were talking of having DS1 admitted, the faxed a prescription for an anti emetic and paracetemol(suppositories!) and to a pharmacy. I had to leave DS1 for 30 mins to drive there and back but was also then able to shop for essentials for DS2 too.

I don't like to give out my location on MN but that was v kind of your to ask wehere I lived in case someone local could help, elastamum.

Just have to figure out how to collect DS2 from school, as it'll mean leaving DS1 for at least one hour and I want to see if he's had any allergic reaction to the meds.

I have no idea how I'm coping with all this - 2 to three weeks of sick DCs and myself and now far far worse illness and no sleep at all. Juts shows what you do when there's no one else there to do it for you!

dont be afraid to call 999 anytime day/night and have paramedics come round and assess him - he does sound and and frankly having him admitted and looked after for one night could be worthwhile?

Hi Solo.

I think you should take your DS to hospital. Vomiting blood is not good, and it sounds like your GP is being way too relaxed about this. Its been going on intermittently for several weeks, you say? He needs proper investigation. he could well be dehydrated, too.

If you are in north London or surrounds, I am happy to drop in shopping or help in any other way, btw.

Oh no, you must be exhausted.

Agree with the others take DS to the hospital as it has been a few weeks.

I really feel for you - wish there was something I could do to help.

You must be totally exhausted. I agree your DS should be assessed, if only to put your mind at rest.

It may not be a bug. This is probably not relevant - but just in case ... My DD went through a stage where she would vomit for days at a time, sometimes every few minutes, and would end up bringing up lots of blood. Each time she was admitted to hospital and needed to spend five days on a drip. It turned out she was suffering from abdominal migraine. Through experimentation we found out her triggers were low blood sugar (attacks tended to start during the night), over-tiredness, and eating chocolate or ham after 4.00 pm (OK other times). We made sure she always ate some toast or cereal last thing at night and that stopped the middle of the night starts. Daytime attacks we headed off by making sure she always ate at the right time, etc.

I hope you are all feeling better soon.

Hi Solo I remember your xmas post. Sorry to hear that the dc have the bug again. Hows things now with you all?

Quick update: DS1 referred to A & E by emergency docs because of irregular heartbeat. Spent last night in A & E with twin in tow too, having DS1 get 2 EEGS, a chest X-ray, blood tests, urine test...

Emergency referral now to Consultant Paediatrician because of irregular heartbeat which probably predates the last 2 week long viris. He's also dehydrated but is now not vomiting and eating little bits of crackers, cheese and bread today. He looks terrible.

I am beyond anxiety. It's now 3 nights and days since I went to bed. The unexpected hear problem is shocking and frightening. Last night, one of the hardest things was realising that I'd either have to leave DS1 alone in hospital, if they'd decided to admit him or find somewhere for DS2 to go (and there's absolutely no one who springs to mind really) whilst staying with DS1.

Feeling a v v alone lone parent right now. Have phoned A & E to ask, in the clear light of day exactly what the cardiac arrhythmia type is (will probably start a new thread in Child Health section now).

Thanks for the support.

Solo2 - hope DS1 is improving and that the referral comes through quickly. I'm sure the parent who brought DS2 home will be willing to help if necessary - people can be surprisingly helpful in a crisis. Hope the referral is reassuring when it comes round.

Slightly better day today. I actually slept a few hours last night - on DS1s floor and he slept much better. He's eaten more food - bland stuff - today - and I've been able to work upstairs whilst checking on him regularly.

The consultant who I was told would telephone today with and appointment - either today, wed or Fri hasn't phoned, so I've assertively left a message on his secretary's answerphone. On the one hand, it's v frustrating. On the other hand, I assume my DS1 can't be that much of an emergency?

Yes, flamingtoaster, another friend kindly offered to have DS2 to stay for a while - although DS2 definitely won't go. In another crisis, I'd take her up on the offer. However, DS2 - with Asperger's traits, would find it v difficult to be away from home so I only feel i can do this in an emergency like if DS1 is admitted to hospital.

Thanks for all the support.

Glad to hear DS1 is a bit better and that you both had some sleep. You are right about the consultant - if DS1 had been considered to be in real danger he wouldn't have been discharged but would have been seen immediately in hospital. Hope you hear about the appointment tomorrow.

Just to say I'm thinking of you....

Thanks for the support again. We are seeing the Consultant Paediatrician on Friday morning in his 'emergency' clinic. He's a general paediatrician not a cardiologist as they're not sure what has caused the arrhythmic heartbeat.

Only had 2 hrs sleep last night, as I woke feeling v ill still (with flu-like symptoms myself) and then couldn't get back to sleep cos of worrying.

DS1s heart still sounds v irregular when I listen to it but he's eating almost normally now, although he's just watched 5 hrs of DVDs today, whilst I've had to work upstairs - and yet is tired. I took him to the supermarket and to pick up his twin fom school and this has perked him up a bit but he seems now ready for bed.

I have to say I am utterly, utterly exhausted emotionally and physically with all this.

Good luck with the Consultant Paediatrician tomorrow. Hope he is helpful - and reassuring. Glad to hear DS1 is eating almost normally again.

Solo2 - I hopea= all is calm for you now. Sick children in top of all the other stuff , esp at Xmas is wretched. You haven't mentioned Rollo in here. Do you still have your dog? If you still have him it sounds as though he has calmed down

I hope your son is still improving. Things sound desperate for you and I have been at the end of my tether too many times. When you are on your own these things can send you over the edge.
Please try to think about how you could ease the burden. For a start an accountant might actually save you money by putting things you had not considered down as business expenses to off set your tax liabililty.
Online shopping is a great help.
Also, ask others for help. It took me 3 years to ask friends for help but I've found that they are always fine about it and I can return the favours for them too. Some people are only too glad to be of help!
Where is the father in all this? My ex is particularly unhelpful but I still ask in vain hope.
I have 3 kids and one has mild aspergers too. I run my own small business and life is damn hard especially when illness strikes. I really feel for you.

hope things are calmer.and Ds is on the mend/has concrete diagnosis...
if hospital admission ask to speak to hosital linked social worker they might be able to help. if worst scenario they could arange shotrt term or ovnight foster care for other twin. (you woulnt be giving up child would just be short term arrangement with your approval)

i had to pay ££££ for childcarer to sit with DD as she had long term virus - finally got gp to prescirbe antibiotics which cleared it - illness really mucks up arrangements...

longer term you might think about building up contact with local childminder/babysitter who could then step in when needed? even if paid for?

and yes online shopping... definitely...first shop is a pain but then you can just repeat the order (tho with tesco clubcard it will come up with all your favourites automatically?)