Overprotective family

[Gizmo100]

I would like to know if I am alone with my situation.

I split from my ex husband three years ago and at the time it was not easy as my husband made the split much harder than it could have been (his decision to leave) but he was a very controlling person. I am been going out with my new boyfriend for 9 months all going really well and my daughter loves him to bits and the feeling is mutual

my biggest problem is the interferance of my family namely my parents and my sister - in the future we plan to live together (maybe end of 2011 so we are not rushing in) well all i have got from my parents is look what happened the last time it could happen again its not a good idea -

my sister is actually worse but she has a vested interest in me being single as she has 4 young children and when i am single (and attached!) i am treated like nanny mcphee and as an aunt its my duty to bring them up (she has a husband but hes a dr so works long hours so that her excuse for relying on me) Today she said i was rushing into having my boyfriend move in with us (by that stage we will have been going out 18 months!) and that i will be worse off because i will lose all my benefits (I hardly get anything now because i work full time plus run my own business )- she also said im better off being single because i have a job and i also run a business so i have enough in my life!!!!
This gets me so down and really put a damper on the great time i am having just now - i know they only care but i rarely get support from them compared to my sister and my friends and boyfriend can vouch for that so I am very self sufficient compared to my sister -

i just find it really condescending for my family to think that i wouldnt be thinking of the implications if it went pete tong if he moved in and it didnt work out - I have even spoke to my lawyer about the implications and told them that but i think its a case of if she is single then its something less for us to worry about :(

I should add they have nothing personally againt my boyfriend and hes your normal laid back guy!

Maybe just don't discuss it with them? Make your own choices!

Self centered comes to mind. Yes parents are usually interested , concerned and the such when one of their children enter into a relationship they want what's best for their child. But in the end it is not their or your sisters relationship it's yours. As for your sister !! your a cheap babysitter if her man is a dr then she could afford to pay for a babysitter and stop putting on you. Do what you think is best for you and your daughter and your B/F. I also wonder if your sister would be happy if she was a single parent of 4 ? it is only because she isn't that she came up with her daft suggestion.
Freedom of choice is what getting into a relationship is all about.
As hairyfairylights said Make your own choices.

Honestly? It sounds to me as if they are a bit jealous of your new found happiness. Their reasons for why you shouldn't move in with your BF are, quite frankly, ridiculous and very selfish, especially on your sister's part. I think that you need to pick a phrase such as 'I'm an adult and can make my own decisions, thank you' and repeat (in a friendly manner, not confrontational) whenever they start with the doom and gloom comments. Good luck with your new life together!

OMG.....your situation is so similar to mine. That i could have written this out myself. I have lived with a very selfish and controlling mother all my life. (as much as it pains me to say it, but its the truth). My sister has become just like my mother.
In the past i have been compliant and done as she had wanted me to. Regardless of whether i was happy or not.
When i decided that enough was enough and i couldn't go on living the way i was. And that something had to give. I was told that i've gone crazy.
My mother and sister do not see that i am actually emotionally and mentally in a somewhat better state now that i am on my own, than when i was with him. Just like they were oblivious to exactly how unhappy i was when i was with him.
I have realised that they have their own selfish agenda. How i feel is not important and never really was. because when i was unhappy noone out of my family was their for me.
Which is why i have distanced myself from them emotionally and physically. As i have realised

that i just don't have the energy to convince them otherwise. So i have left them to it and have for the past year or so concentrated on doing what is best for me and my children. Because that is all that is important.

Hey Gizmo, how are you? and how are you getting on? Hope your well....:-)