a short rant..

[emmaneezerscrooge]

Out of curiousity, if against your better judgement, because you felt bad for your ex missing out on time with his kids, you coerced your ILL autistic 8 yr old into going to his dads for the night on boxing day
would yo be feeling horriby guilty or just low level to find out a suprise party had been held where none of your kids ACTUAL family where there, just your exes new in laws...

That your kid had been so ill they slept most of the afternoon/evening, and threw up again this morning.. and at NO point were you contacted, in fact when you'd rung up to see how he was you were told he was absolutely fine...

then your ex brings them back 6 hours early.. but without giving a specific time - so you couldn't go out to get the bits you needed in case they arrived whilst you were out?

and to add further insult to this, your exes new in laws had taken a fucking dog with them - and your ds1 is terrified of dogs - so spent most of the time on his own in a kitchen



Oh and you've just had to settle your ds1 who's 10, because he was crying becaus ehe hadn't seen his own bloody grandma, but his dad had invited his new missus family round... and all you can say is 'well it was nce wasn't it/ and its lovely that they bought you presents and we'll see Grandma as soon as we can don't you worry.. its just your Dad doesn't always remember things like that - he just wanted you to have fun'


and all I want to do, is rip the ex a new arsehole for being such a stupid PRICK, for NOT thinking,or considering his bloody kids first.. they went there to spend time with HIM ffs...

I don't have a problem with his new inlaws accepting the boys into their family, its lovely actually that they have..but when he KNOWS is sons ILL, and doesn't cope with big gatherings at the bloody best of times..

Still its not fuckign well HIM who's had to deal with the fall out is it/ its not him who's not had a full nights sleep since ds2 got ill, and has now started with the fucking flu theirself..

90% of the time he's OK... I mean yes I split up with him for a reason (not least the never seeing beyond what he fucking well wants to do and blow anyone else)then he upsets the kids like this (and I know its small fry compared to what some folk have to put up with)

I'm doubtlesslymaking a mountain out of a molehill.. and this is really to stop me losing my rag with the ex... all that will achieve is him being a complete dickhead for a couple of months.

[SaggyHairyArse]

Rant away, it is well deserved. I think the problem here is that he wasn't transparent about the arrangements and if you had of known you could have prepared your children accordingly and yourself with shopping etc.

Generally speaking I would say the majority of us have split with our exs because they are unthinking fuckwits but it doesn't stop being frustrating even though we aren't in a married relationship with them anymore.

[allabouthim]

emmaneezerscrooge

let it rip my dear. Its best you dont lose your rag. I respect you a lot for thinking of your childrens welfare first. And generally if you lose your rag, you are made to look like the one in the wrong.

And to be honest, though some people have worse situations, its all relative. So what you're going through is also important and hard for you at the moment. Hope Ds2 gets better, and you take plenty of vitamin c.

Stay strong. my little one doesnt know his dad at all, because I wasnt as controlled or as selfless as you. So me losing my rag has meant no dad. so keep up the good work.

[pickgo]

Hey allabouthim if my exh had my Dcs and regularly lost his rag it wouldn't stop me seeing them (I'd just make sure I didn't see him apart from collecting/dropping off).
It's NOT your fault it's their Dads - he's presumably a grown adult who makes his own decisions??
Agree it's good to keep cool, but splitting up is very stressful and arguments do take two! So stop being so hard on yourself and remember he had a choice.

[Gonzo33]

I would have been furious too. I have only recently learnt (after 9 years of being divorced from the idiot) that it is better to not say anything. Believe me when I say that the children will see him for who he is. My ds has started to decide not to spend time with his father anymore.