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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Court's order vs Social Services

18 replies

aguska · 27/12/2010 20:00

Help please!!!!!!!!!!! is social services recomendation enough to breach the court order? there is a contact order in place and my child should be going to see his dad on 30th. contact is supervised by his parents as he drinks exesively! 2 weeks ago he was arrested for drink driving and police found that he had some samurai swords in his car. social services cntacted me and said that they would be very concerned if this contect went ahead. I advised them that it would be supervised and they said no contact till they can do an assesment. Everybody is off now(my solicitors)and my ex and his parents are texting and mailing me saying that social services have got no authority to make recomendations or endorsement as there is a court order in place. My solicitor said last week that with the letter we have from social services saying that they believe that my child could be in danger if contact went ahead , we are covered in court as it was not really my desision. I am devastated as my child will be very sad that he wont be going but what else can I do?

Is social sevrices recomendation enough to breach the court order?

If I let my son go against social services wishes ( I am sure that he would be safe with grandparents) can this turn around against me?

hELP!

OP posts:

CarGirl · 27/12/2010 20:02

bump

try posting on legal

WhyHavePets · 27/12/2010 20:03

Go with SS recommendation and wait for the assesment.
Court will be happy that you are following SS advice as they cannot legislate for events that happen after a court order like this, they recognise that things change.

WhyHavePets · 27/12/2010 20:05

And if you go against SS then yes it can be used against you - by ex, the GPs and SS. Seriously, SS are worried for your childs safety therefore you really need to follow their advice, they get really shirty if you ignore this stuff - even if they do eventually come to the same conclusion as you.

CarGirl · 27/12/2010 20:08

Do you get on well enough with your ex's parents for you to visit the grandparents with your dc and them honour social services and ensure that your ex isn't there?

It does sound indeed that you must follow ss recommendation.

Original poster

aguska · 27/12/2010 20:09

thanks everybody, that's what I was going to do but their threats made me ask the question

OP posts:

tethersjinglebellend · 27/12/2010 20:09

Can you call the duty social worker? Get something in writing from them, even an email.

KerryMumblesBahHumBug · 27/12/2010 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

aguska · 27/12/2010 20:10

we really don't get on well and they live 600 km away so there is no way I could go there.

OP posts:

Original poster

aguska · 27/12/2010 20:16

I don't want him to go with a drunk and that's why I am very carefull. we have been fighting in court for a long time for residence order for my child. I don't want 1 desision to affect the outcome of the big case. there is no way I would agree for him to look after our son by himself. but since the contact is supervised and grandparents really make sure that everything goes well I have no problem with my child going there for visits. but recent events made me question everything.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 27/12/2010 20:34

I would refer "them" to speak to social servies themselves then. I would scan in and then send them a copy of the letter you have received and tell them your understanding is that you are not to allow the contact whether it is supervised or not. If they want to get something in writing from social services that it is to go ahead then you will comply.

Put the ball in their court and let them chase ss????

Just watch out for any forged ss letters though......

ElenorRigby · 27/12/2010 20:49

I have no pleasure in saying this
but through bitter experience...
SS recommendations will trump a court order, not only for days but even many months, based on just hearsay, he said/she said with no/little credible proven evidence.

Original poster

aguska · 27/12/2010 20:59

what does it mean that it will trump a court order? sorry, but english is not my first language:)

OP posts:

CarGirl · 27/12/2010 21:03

It means do what the ss recommendation is, it over rides the court order.

So no contact until ss tell you otherwise.

MadamDeathstare · 27/12/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyHavePets · 27/12/2010 21:05

Cargirl has a good plan, I would even go a step further - if it is not already covered in the letter from SS -

Write a letter to SS asking fro clarification, explain that access is currently supervised by paternal grandparents under a court order and you would like them to clarify if contact should/should not go ahead under supervision and please could they cc any response with regard to this specific issue to in order that all interested parties can be kept informed and fully understand the situation.

I would then send the copy of the SS letter and your letter to ex and GPs saying that you understand there is to be no contact but that you have asked for clarification and, therefore, contact is simply postponed until you have heard back from SS when the situation can be reviewed.

IMO doing this will take any argument away from them as you are doing everything reasonable to ensure that there are no misunderstandings - and to get contact sorted asap if that is appropriate. If they argue you can just refer back each time "I know it is frustrating I hope SS hurry up and reply" "Yes I am hoping that we can get this sorted out without delay too" and so on - things that do not commit you and also do not lead you into another argument with them.

Also it should give you some time to get your head together, the situation sounds awfully difficult

Original poster

aguska · 27/12/2010 21:27

It is difficult! I have unfirtunately no time ti write letters as contact was supposed to start this wed till 5th Jan. Their solicitors have alredy written a letter to SS but SS are closed till beginning of Jan! I have alreday told them that if I can get a confirmation from SS that supervised visit would be ok I would be happy for my child to go. But they can't get an answer from SS so they are trying to scare me by saying that I will be breaching the CO and it is going to go against me and so on! Thank you very much everybody, I am calmer now!

OP posts:

CarGirl · 27/12/2010 21:28

Glad you are calmer, just email them that you have taken legal advice and you will not be against ss but are happy to rearrange contact once ss give the okay.

WhyHavePets · 27/12/2010 21:33

Glad you are more calm.

The simple facts are these,

SS advise is more important than a standing court order - especially if it is more an instruction than advice as this sounds.

A court will not punish you for following SS instructions relating to the safety of your children.

All the bullying will count against them, keep notes and copies of everything (write notes about phonecalss, save texts etc) - tell them you are recording their conduct to show SS and the court how they behave.

Good luck with it all!

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