Ex has cut his contact from 2 NIGHTS a week to two HOURS a week

[coldtits]

Now, I allow that he's a prick. His flat (I recently found out) is not a particularly safe place for them to be.

but how can I explain this to the children?

After I stopped the children going to his flat (a tattoo was involved!) he agreed that he would care for them here over night while I worked.

Last week he announced, 30 minutes before I was due to start work, that he won't be coming to my house any more.

So, he saw them for 2 hours on Sunday 12th, 1 hour on Sunday 19th, and 1.5 hours on Tuesday 21st. He's not planning to see them again until Christmas day.

I have lost my job (as can no longer be in my workplace) and although the children aren't asking yet, I'm sure they're going to.

What has made him lose interest in this way? Until 2 weeks ago, I'd have sworn blind that he loves the children and would always take an opportunity to spend time with them - now he sees them less than they see my neighbours!

I want to SCREAM at him for dumping them like this, and for dumping me in the shit again. I fucking loved my job. I loved having a job.

He's turned into such a fucking loser.

Because he can say that he is still supporting his kids and is not a loser (despite not recognising what kids need and being a bit of a loser). If this is the case, the money will not last long either. He sounds more interested in him than his kids.

Did you say before that his GF is cool? What does she say?

CT you would get help as a lone parent towards the childcare costs. So you'd have to find 20% of the cost not the full amount out of your wages.

There is a maximum amount you can claim, which for 2+ children is £240 a week.

So if your full costs for childcare was £240 a week you'd have to pay 20% of that only, ie £48.

Someone will be able to point you at where to find SN care. Do you have a social worker or maybe a health visitor who can help. Or post in the nannies, childminder etc section on MN to see what people suggest you try.
You are right you may find it hard to find one person, so an option may be you may need two nannies/carers.
Please don't ditch your job without trying to find alternative child care. There may be no options available to you, but there may just be something. It's surely worth a try.

I haven't ditched my job, I'm still on their books and my area manager is trying to find me a position that I can do, but effectively, I can't work right now.

I dont; have a social worker, I don;t evemn have DLA

I kind of saw my job as my way of coping with ds1's extra needs, as I like to do things as independantly as possible.

Luckily (and I see that now, though I didn;t at the time!) the pay is a month in hand, so I'll get November's wage at the end of the monnth

My manager is ringing me in the new year to talk about trying to set me up somewhere else, with someone who doesn't need 24 hour care.

I'm going to send my CV to SS and see if they could use me as a sn family support worker, because despite my tatters of a life, I'm quite experienced and good at dealing with people.

You are independant, claiming dla doesn't mean that you are any less independent. You re entitled so claim it, it helps.

Your boss sounds like he/se is looking hard for a solution, thats positive.

I know things feel shit right now but gillybean is right, you need to find childcare that is independent from your ex because he is a cock

Sending you thingswillbefine vibes.

with your experince i am sure you can get a suitable role that will have better hours for you.

so that you wont need to be dependent on ex at all.
have a great christmas

coldtits, sadly I have nothing helpful to add but hope you manage to have a fabulous Christmas and that you get a great new job with the right hours in the New Year.

Christmas is oging to be AWEOSME in this house. A MAriokart scalextric may be involved

coldtits, I salute you! It'll be like an explosion in Toys'r'Us here. I can't wait for DD to be old enough for Scalextric. Maybe next year?

Has he got a new woman?

Nope, same one he's had for past 18 months. I've met her and she's nice.