Is anyone else an LP who works full time with 2+ kids, social life and a horse?

[allgonebellyup]

I think i have over-stretched myself slightly.
Been on my own for nearly 4yrs (with on and off r-ships), have 2 dc who can be quite difficult behaviour-wise and my youngest has serious sleep problems. They go to a childminder before and after school.

I work full time mon-fri but also have a horse i have to visit 3x a week plus weekends.
I have been studying for a degree for past 6yrs and am meant to do about 16hrs a week study (no do-able!!)
I cant stop working as i need the money to pay for our home!
I cant stop studying as i need the degree to follow the career path i want to follow, so i can support my dc a little better

The social life happens every fortnight when the kids are at dads, so thats fine.

And the horse..is my one and only hobby and i am crazy about her. I share her so she doesnt cost much in money, only time..

Am i stupid?

to answer your question, no, thank god, but at least you are making the msot of things. by the way i found studying and working with two DCs virtually impossible, studying just didn't get done....
if you want to get the degree done you probably have to drop something? social life?
hmmm....

yes i find the studying near on impossible, and i dont get very good marks as a result.
My social life only really consists of some friday and every other saturday night out..sometimes not even that much..

Can i drop the dc??

you must have lots of energy!
what si teh degree? how much extra money would it mean long term?

You could be me!!! I have 2dc, 3 labradoodles, a horse that I do myself and a full time job

My ex lives about 2 hours away and my boys see their dad on night every fortnight, so I dont have much of a social life, although I do have an au pair as my job involves long hours and travel. We live out in the sticks in rural Derbyshire as well and my office is 55 miles away so everything we do involves driving.

The first year on my own was hell but I have toughened up considerably and am much much fitter than I was. I put my horses on DIY when my ex left us as it was the only way I could afford to keep them.

My friends think I am completely mad to live the way we do. I have been dating on and off this year, but most men I have met take one look at my lifestyle and decide there is no room for them - to be honest there isnt really - unless you love kids, horses, and dogs and want to spend your life outside.

Hang in there belly up. I wouldnt go back to my old married life for all the tea in china.

Ohh yay! There is someone else out there like me! Your life sounds even harder than mine, i dont know how you do all the travelling plus the horse every day!

Well I work fulltime, am studying and have 2 dcs but I dont have the horse, I am however the main carer for my disabled parents.

Ds goes to see his dad 1 night each weekend but dd (now 15) refuses to go to her dads so I dont usually get many child free nights but I do have the odd night out, dds friends mum is single so we take turns having the girls while the other one goes out.

Yay, another one!
Do you ever feel that you dont even get time to breathe, or remember every little thing you are meant to - and feel like you are always failing at something??

i get annoyed with people at work who do the same job as me and have NO children- who says they are soooo stressed out...

Then i also get annoyed with people who have kids (AND a partner) but dont work at all who say they dont have enough hours in the day...
They dont have a clue!!

I don't have the pets but do work ft, have two rather demanding dcs (prob my fault they are like that), no family support, and try to have a social life. If I had more free time could have a brill social life but as it is at present just snatch what I can when I can.

Lots of hassle from my exh and probs with his new p as well.

Was thinking of getting a kitten but maybe not a good idea!!

I take my hat off to you both having a horse as well and I tried to study with one and then two dcs and have never achieved it.

I started a distance learning marketing course in 1999 (gulp) am 3/4 of the way through and don't think I will ever achieve it.

I used to find exams quite ok but not any more. And no time to do any real study.

Of forgot to say that sometime so socialising in the home (rather than go out) where friends (both lp and married) come round, leave the dcs to their own devices (they are old enough) and -get drunk-- have a few glasses of wine and a chat in the other room or go to local bowling place - again we sit in the bar while dcs do bowling.

That seems to work quite well and all local so not much travelling.

Am lucky enough to have cinema, bingo (not that i go to that) and bowling within five mins walk of house.

I have absolutely no idea how you fit all that in. Well-done though. I work full time, have one dd, some hobbies (nothing as demanding as a horse) and a tiny bit of a social life - I have no support or babysitter. And, I still think I never have quite enough time and like I'm constantly rushing about. I've probably finished all the studying I'm going to do, but if I had to fit that in too I would be in a flap.

You must be very well-organised. Obviously the dc and the job are the most important things, everything else you have to weigh up how much time it is taking up and how much you are getting out of it.

I too am seriously impressed by your stamina and organisational skills! I've got one ds, work full-time and no help whatsoever around. The result? I have done some distance-studying which worked out well but it was hard to find the time. I have no social life and I had to re-home my beloved dogs when ex and I divorced - ds was only little and I couldn't leave him by himself to walk the dogs (couldn't drag him along either, especially when it was cold and darK so early like now and he had already had a seriously long day at nursery!).
The one thing I've found is that I used to have a lot more energy or enthusiasm to take on loads (often too much) but I'm forcing myself to slow down as my health has suffered. Provided you feel well (you're not getting run down, etc), then keep up the excellent work that you are doing!

Aw thanks for the nice messages.
Sometimes i feel fine and like i am doing well, other times i feel so stressed and the house is always a tip with no time to clean it up.
Did i mention we also (stupidly) have 2 cats,a rabbit, 3 guinea pigs, 2 hamsters and a fish. My dd does look after them most of the time but when the weather is foul it falls on to me... i wish we could get rid of them all!!!!

You sound so much like me. I always end up taking on too much and then struggle to keep up.

But I always think the most important thing is to have a happy home for my children and also keep some of the things that are important to me.

I have thought many times about whether I could and should continue to keep the horse, but horses have been part of my life since I was a child and I cant conceive of the idea of not having them

elastaelf - what sort of work do you do?
i teach and i feel so exhaused by the time i get home that i dont really want to deal with any more kids, and then i feel REALLY guilty about this as its MY children i should care about the most!!

Plus i constantly think about getting rid of the horse, especially during a freezing cold winter like this, but then the summer comes and i feel like the luckiest person to have my own horse.

I was working quite a bit up until April this year, but horses were in full/working livery. My children are older though (20, 18 and 11) and until this weekend when 18yo finally gets discharged from hospital I only have the 11yo at home.

You'd regret and resent parting with your horse I think?

Yes i think i would.. but when i complain to friends and family about how little time i have/how exhausted i am, they just look at me like im mad and say "get rid of that bloody horse then!"

Ok, I am not a LP, but I do have FT job, 4 teens (girls), 3 horses, 2 dogs and sundry other small furry or shelled animals and no real social life to talk about (no time + new (ish) to area and don't know anyone).

I was a LP for 4 years with a FT job and 2 DC's though and 2 horses so I know where you are coming from.

Where do you keep your horse, and where do you get to ride, particularly at this time of year.

I am a managment consultant and work from home a fair bit which helps as in mid winter I can turn out after the school run and muck out at lunch time if the weather is bad.

Live in Derbyshire, very cold atm and we have just managed to get another delivery of hay in today before the hills ice up again.

I couldnt part with my horse. Have had her 6 years. the last one i had from 3 until 25, longer than my marriage and previous live in boyfriend

allgonebellyup, are you a riding instructor?

If you are then I think you are the mother of one of my son's friends. Her children are some of the nicest children I know.

hi, no, not a riding instructor!!!

and if you knew one of my dc you probably wouldnt call her nice!

See if you could work part time and make your money up in tax credits. Look up 'entitled to' and calculate your entitlements.

I have always worked full time and now see that i would be £100 worse off a month if i cut my hours in half!!

on my own with 3 children, what a difference this would make to my life.

Oh my goodness, I am reading this thread with interest. I am a LP and have 3 children and a dog but do not work. I am planning on doing a fulltime course (proper fulltime as in 37.5 hours a week at Uni/placement plus studying so not Uni fulltime) but I am feeling the fear now!

Well...AGBU and Elastelf....am now feeling incredibly inadequate...Am a LP DD 20 DS13, no horse, no pets (apart from bed bugs) and no study (lazy) and I STILL moan that it's hard

Oops.. forgot to mention I work full time!