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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I need opinions: Would you feel segregated if a children's centre did a specific group for LPs and their under 5s?

30 replies

Alambil · 06/12/2010 00:24

to provide info on benefits / going to work / housing / all sorts / health support (mental and physical) / social stuff in a safe, secure and friendly environment with only people from similar circumstances as opposed to a session where anyone can join in

am just thinking; I'd like it (or I would have when ds was younger) but would the majority?

my big idea is to set up a session at work for LPs to find out this stuff much like we do for the teen mums and other groups and obviously then encouraging the clients to attend other (universal) services

opinions please?

if it's a good idea, what name would you give the group?

OP posts:

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BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 06/12/2010 00:30

hmm - tbh I'm not sure I'd like it. Can't quite put my finger on why though. Will have a ponder on it overnight and come back tomorrow to see if I can pinpoint why I don't like the idea.

Meglet · 06/12/2010 00:33

Personally I wouldn't find it useful, but I never stopped working ()and housing wasn't an issue (). I'm much older (36) than the LP's I know so I wouldn't have much in common with them.

It might work as a workshop for LP's, instead of a toddler group style meeting.

That's probably not very useful is it? I'm probably out of the age group you are looking at.

SuperTheoryofSuperEverything · 06/12/2010 00:39

My local surestart do this and by all ccounts it's very succesful.

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine · 06/12/2010 00:41

I would go to a LP's group - as long as it wasn't a "Hey come to this group and don't go to all the others, hahaha" thing (which I'm sure it wouldn't be! )

I went to the young parents group occasionally, but it wasn't for me. I go to the breastfeeding group when I can make it. I'd definitely look in on a lone parents' group to meet others locally in a similar position.

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine · 06/12/2010 00:48

I think I'd prefer an informal toddler group type set up though with the option to perhaps speak to someone from FIS if I specifically needed advice. I'm quite capable of seeking advice and probably wouldn't go if it seemed the group was intended to be about that. I'd go for the social aspect and because it would be nice to meet people.

Could I suggest holding it on a weekend day, though? Weekends can be hellish when you are a LP as there are no groups on (and soft play, library, swimming etc are busy with school aged children so not so much fun for under-5s) and often friends etc are busy with their partners/husbands, especially if your ex doesn't see the children every weekend (or at all). Also that way more working parents will be able to attend. Possibly it excludes those with older children though, if they weren't able to come along.

hairyfairylights · 06/12/2010 09:14

Definately a good idea

shelleylou · 06/12/2010 09:24

I think its deffinitely a good idea. A childrens centre near me has a Lone parent advisor from the jobcentre come each month. They also do a young mum's group, I was going to go to that one this week but they have changed the age for it so im now too old lol

BEAUTlFUL · 06/12/2010 10:11

I'd love it. I can always go to other toddler groups too, but it'd be fab to meet other single parents. I'm mainly thinking it'd be lovely to sit round having a fabulous bitch about how difficult it is to be a LP.

SingleMumAndProud · 06/12/2010 10:25

Id love to go to a group specially for lone parents :-)

Hannispan · 07/12/2010 21:18

I'm going to a toddler group for lone parents tomorrow :-) Apparantly they are a really nice group. I've been looking for a group soley for lone parebts to chat to other mums in my situation - all my mummy friends are coupled up and don't have advice on lp issues like contact, how to pin two screaming children into two beds with one set of hands etc. So good idea!

changeforthebetter · 07/12/2010 22:10

I'd definitely go. don't know any other LPs (well, one but she is lurved up with a new man so doesn't count )

I feel like I live in MarriedLand so would love something like this.

Original poster

Alambil · 08/12/2010 22:49

thanks guys, I've put the proposal in and given it a thorough standing in evidence from statistics and various sources... let's hope the boss is convinced

I've also put myself as the main leader cos I am a lp - makes more sense for me to run it than my childless, lp-clueless colleague!

OP posts:

daddydaycare51 · 13/12/2010 02:36

Have you also allowed for Single LP dads as well ? because where I'm from everything is basically geared up for LP mothers and the mothers are less open when men are about even LP men who are doing exactly the same as the women. ( Just a thought )

harvalp · 14/12/2010 19:15

Come on daddydaycare51, you're Hugh Grant really aren't you!

GypsyMoth · 14/12/2010 19:18

Why limit it to under 5's?

In my experience it's the later stages where help/advise is needed more. Appreciate kids in older groups are at school, but so much is aimed at under 5's. Hv/surestart etc is all there already

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 14/12/2010 19:22

Yeah we do a LP's group. it is just a toddler type group but once a month we have someone turn up from CAB or DWP or Housing advice. that way the people that would come normally anyway also get to come along and speak about the possibilities of getting back into work or helping them move.

ours is called "lonestars"

the group isn't limited to parents of under 5s but its only really families with under 5's that are on the books and parents of children over 5 will not need a toddler group as the DC are at school

daddydaycare51 · 14/12/2010 20:55

Soz Harvalp hugh grant hasn't got 11 children (I do )

splashy · 14/12/2010 21:58

I think a toddler group or something else informal where LPs can socialise is a great idea. Agree the advise should be there, but on an 'as needed' basis rather than being the focus.

BluTac · 15/12/2010 00:41

It's a good idea, I always feel a bit self-concious in toddler groups as I'm still finding my feet as a LP. Would be nice to go somewhere where no-one else had a wedding ring either IYKWIM?

girliefriend · 15/12/2010 20:44

I'd of liked it have often toyed with the idea of setting up a lone parent group locally as it would be nice to know a few other mums who are in the same boat!

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 15/12/2010 20:51

personally i wouldn't like it as i'd feel it was implying that LP's were a group that needed extra help because they're shit. know that's not your intention but that's what i'd read in it. the other group you mention as having a targetted group is teen mum's. to me it would feel like being treated as if i was a teen mum or social deviant or something.

why would we need 'special' information or input? it just reads patronising to me.

surely the advice you're talking about - housing, work, benefits etc is applicable to everyone?

ValiumShimmer · 15/12/2010 21:11

I'm not sure. I do know a lot of married women, so the balance, the opportunity to meet some lone parents, in the hope that I might click with one or two of them would be nice NOW.

But recently after splitting up form my x I would have been very hurt to have been 'relegated' or excluded. I wouldn't have liked it I don't think.

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 15/12/2010 23:13

i think i see age, education etc as more of a demographic than marital status. the less big deal is made of 'single'ness as a parent the better to be honest.

all mum's surely.

ValiumShimmer · 16/12/2010 16:37

Yes, I agree with that statement completely. However, after three and a half years I'm realising that it's not only down to me to perceive myself as being part of the group of women that I identify most closely with. I need them to perceive that too! I've been realising recently that I haven't got beyond friendly with some women in 3+ years. I think they are keeping me at a distance.

Bit of a shocking realisation as I didn't think people were so convention in this day and age, but I am not included in any weekend stuff (with the husbands!).

I am really trying to nudge myself out of my rut at the moment and meet up with other single parents.. NOW I would love if there was something out there that was just for single parents. To increase my chances of meeting other single parents that I would click with, and who wouldn't keep me at a distance at the weekends!! I have met one really nice single parent recently and she is great. Fabulous attitude to life and getting on with it. I need more of this!

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 16/12/2010 17:19

yes. do tend to be a weekday friend as a single mum. tis true.

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