Crying in front of kids - is it really bad?

[mellowdramatic]

I've done this quite a few times since xh cheated on me c 17 months ago. The divorce came through 3 weeks ago. When I've cried in front of them before they don't even seem to notice and carry on playing/chatting to me/showing me what they're doing etc. as if nothing's wrong.

I found out today that his new girlfriend has now met his parents and my kids and they think she's really nice. I don't want him back particularly but i want my family back - i used to be closer to them almost than my own parents and it's all been taken away.

My youngest ds (5) asked me why i was crying and he gave me a cuddle. Oldest ds is 8 and has never been very "connected" to people anyway.

Is this an absolute no-no?

Not at all. You're a human being with feelings, the occassional cry won't do them any harm.

I think it is ok to cry in front of your children as long as it is not that often. I think it is ok to explain that you are feeling a bit sad and it is lovely that your 5 year old wanted to give you a cuddle.
We are all human and children will see people cry at all sorts of occasions throughout their lives.

It's ok to cry. Bu it is absolutely never ok to bring them into adult issues ie: the separation.

Thanks for your comments - don't feel quite so bad now.

i know it's not fair on the kids to talk about what he did and that really annoys me - he betrayed me and the kids and spoilt what should have been an idyllic childhood for them. He's a shit and i've got to rise above it. But this has been said lots of times before by lots of good newly single mums. I'm boring myself - I know the right thing to do but it's hard

I've cried in front of my kids. I do try to hold it in mostly but sometimes I have done. I explain I am sad/tired/worried/feeling poorly and that sometimes it helps to let feelings out rather than holding them in. I agree taht they don't need to know the ins and outs of the divorce but it is healthy for kids to see us emotional. I do not believe we do them any favours by always putting on a happy face. It's false. They will come across their own heartbreak. The other thing is that they can be really sweet trying to cheer me up and their efforts make me smile so much (jokes involving poo ) that I usually do. I wouldn't like to be sobbing in front of them every day but now and again is fine IMHO.

Ha ha - jokes about poo are always a good tonic. What would we do without our kids - they're fantastic.

I sometimes cry in front of my dcs and dsd. Dsd, 9, thinks it is funny afterwards. My dcs are younger and give me a cuddle.

I cried this evening in front of the kids when my washing machine broke down as i was trying to clean school uniform.

Sometimes it just happens, dont feel bad about it

I think sometimes it can even be beneficial - they get to see that adults experience the full range of emotions and that's ok. As long as it's not happening all the time, of course.