access and difficult issues

[justfortheday]

Have namechanged for this as am asking for a friend and it is a very delicate issue.

Friend has a young DC. When baby was very young, it came out that the father, friend's DH, had been having a 'relationship' with a very young girl. He claims this was not a sexual relationship until girl was 16. This seems highly unlikely. However, they are still together.

Friend has two older DC (eldest older than the new 'stepmum') who have refused all contact. Although offered contact via a contact centre, the ex has not seen the baby for over a year.

Now he is taking her to court for contact with the baby. She is beside herself with worry that this will be dangerous for the baby...and I just don't know what to tell her.

Why does she believe its dangerous for the baby?

If its going to court then she will need to be able to quantify that fear. A mothers intuition is not going to be enough. The fact the eldest two are refusing contact is not really going to affect contact proceedings for the baby since he will just claim she's alienated them from him.

why will it be dangerous? does she think he is a paedophile?

why didnt he take up contact centre?

If this man had a relationship with a teenage girl eg 14 or 15, while that is unethical (and if he was having sex with an under-16, illegal) it doesn't mean he's a danger to a baby. However, if she has evidence of any kind of him being the sort of person who would be a danger to the baby then she needs to make sure she passes this evidence on - to the police if necessary- and remember that while ayone who is not actually banged up can take legal action in order to have contact with his/her children, there is no guarantee that the person will get contact if the person is adanger to the child.