maintenance money not through CSA

[smokinaces]

Those of you that have maintenance agreements with your ex which arent through the CSA - how did you work out an amount?

Ex was giving me £70 a week for a year (he was on £500 a week more or less, self employed) but then lost his job and went on benefits. He didnt pay me, but we agreed £7 a week to accumulate as arrears until he got a new job.

He retrained and is now on £250 a week after tax (now PAYE) He agreed last night to start paying maintenance again, and we have to decide on an amount.

He has the two boys around once a week, just under the 52 nights a year with holiday/working overtime etc

CSA calculator says £50 of his £250 - which seems quite high when he has to support himself and his rent alone is £550.

So I suggested £35 a week - half of what he was paying. He begrudgingly agreed this. I said if he found he had no money to do anything with the children when he had them we could relook at it, but £35 is kind of what I need for the 2 boys weekly.

Have I been a bit greedy? How should I work this all out? 15% is 37.50 a week, so I thought £35 a week for 2 kids is fair?

How do you guys do it?

Hi, you are entitled to 20% of his net pay. 15% for one child and 20% for two children. This amount should be paid until your children leave full time education.

You are entitled to this money to support your 2 boys, cloth and feed them.

Hope this helps....Good luck

Sounds like you're being overly generous. The CSA calculator gives the minimum amounts - my ex pays over this as he doesn't want his children to go without.

I'm surprised you think you can manage to pay the boys' expenses on £35 - clothes, food, activities, toys, school items? I would be asking for the £50 at least - if he doesn't agree to that you can tell him it might be easier to do it through the CSA.

I think maybe I'm doing it to keep the peace a bit. He has got into a lot of debt with housing etc - and as much as thats not my responsibility, I'd rather he spend the "extra" on getting back on his feet so he has a home for the kids to go to when they visit.

purpledress, I pay for everything myself currently working part time with tax credits. Extras such as car tax, car repairs etc have had to come out of an overdraft at the moment, but everything else is covered thankfully - I dont use his money in my budget calculations if that makes sense?

He's still a little unstable at the moment with work (currently agency, means some days no work) so some weeks will be less than £250.

Gah. Its so bloody hard. Its the only thing we sometimes fall out with is money. Everything else works great 18m down the line.

I think I will say £35 for a couple of months until he is slighter better off. he says he is going for more ph and a full time job (non agency) in the New Year, in which case I will up to £50 then, or even £70 again.

I have explained to him that the CSA states £50, but for time being £35 will be ok. I mean, I would much rather he have a flat for the kids to go to, and Christmas presents for them than me to have an extra £15 a week in my pocket for things.

Maybe I'm too nice?!

Can I just correct purpledress who insinuated that the maintenance should pay the Dcs expenses? The resident parent also has a duty to contribute to the expenses. The non resident parent shouldn't have to pay all their living costs!!!

Can I just correct purpledress who insinuated that the maintenance should pay the Dcs expenses? The resident parent also has a duty to contribute to the expenses. The non resident parent shouldn't have to pay all their living costs!!!