Feeling very alone

[mumsanutter]

A little background - My soon to be xh, decided to leave in july declaring that he had got used to being alone, and it has since turned out that he had been having an affair since april. I filed for divorce on 27th September, the day before our 14th wedding anniversary, the nisi will be read on wednesday (17th), so I should get the absolute on 30th Dec.

Well his girlfriend has flown over to be with him this week (he is back in the UK from a work trip), and he has just collected our 2 youngest children to take them out for the day - with the girlfriend. Our older 2 are at rememberance day parades, and I will be going to watch them later, but now sitting here alone I feel so lonely and useless.

Really don't know what I am expecting, but just needed to write this down somewhere - thanks for reading

It is hard, to know he lied to you but also the thought of him being off playing happy families with OW and your dc. Don'y be afraid to cry and allow yourself to be upset. It is normal will help you let out those feelings.

It will hopefully get easier and you may even look forward to a bit of you time in the future.
But probably not for some time yet. So don't feel like you should be a grown up and hust get on with it. That will happen in time but fo now be kind to yourself.

Find things to do that you don't normally get time too. Read a mag or watch a movie that you want. Go out for coffee with a friend or just go for a walk. If you're feeling more industrious you could perhaps get some jobs done that you never seem to have time for, Checking through wardrobes for clothes that no longer fit, or some internet shopping for Christmas without worrying about who is peeking over your shoulder.

You will be fine and although you may not realise it yet you will be so much better off without him. After all he is a lying, cheat who you can't trust. You are well rid. It's time for you now. You'll be fine in time, although you fee very raw now.

We're here when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend.

Well I went and did some shopping with a friend, did quite a bit of walking and then sat and had a coffee on my own before watching the older 2 boys in their parade.

Get back and he hammers on the door, and has then brought the 2 little men star wars guns which fire foam thingy's and I now have my own version of halo wars, with the arguing as well!!!

Perhaps you need to suggest that toys he buys for them need to stay at his place. So he can deal with the fallout.

Glad you managed to make some time for yourself. It will get easier in time, but that time can take a while.

Gilly, that sounds like a great idea about the toys bot unfortunately it won't work. He is currently staying in a hotel with his girlfriend and stays at a friends when he is in the UK, as he is looking to relocate permanently to either Tokyo or New York - so will be a very hands on dad..... NOT!!!!

I am trying to make the most of the me time, as if he relocates this isn't going to happen unless I pay a babysitter! He did however say that the pair of them (his girlfriend and him) are thinking about eventually setting up home in london and how did I feel about this - I responded with 'Great, I can get every other weekend off' and was greeted with silence, so won't be holding my breath for that to happen then lol

Thanks for responding