can face losing my teenage son

[confusedbint]

Im 51, divorced 6 years and have ds 13 and ds 12. ds has always been a loving son although when i seperated from dh i slowly began to see a difference in him. However, since turning 13 this year his attitude and treatment of me has changed almost overnight.

I know most of it is typical selfish teenage stuff, but unfortunately i take such treatment personally as i have low self esteem. Last friday we had a fall out and i lost it big time, shouting, crying etc.

Last night he TEXT me to say he staying with dad for a few weeks and didnt want to come home. I was devestated! He came round and we were both upset, but i let him pack some stuff and let him go. im still crying as i write.

i just feel so downtrodden and unappreciated. (pathetic i know)

ive always worked. dh has not worked for 5 years and has never paid any maintenance. he never take kids anywhere and his mum does almost everything for him.

just cant seem to pull myself up lately?

heading should read CANT face losing my teenage son

He is going through lots of changes atm, hormonal and growing up changes, you really need to stop taking it personally and start litening and understanding him, he may also be affected by your split, but you shouldnt take that personally either, its is only natural that he would be

i would work on making your home a safe and happy enviroment for him and giving him some space, teenagers can be very moody, im sure he will come back soon, just give him time

Bless you - you wont lose him - he's always going to be your son.

13 is very difficult age, one foot in child hood and the other in early adulthood.

Its hard but you must try and not take his moods / outbursts too personally and remember he is in a whirl of hormones. Think how we feel sometimes with PMT - not always the most calm, rational or forgiving.

Go and see him adn let him know that you love him and will always be there for him and if he wants a little time out with Dad, thats just fine and dandy. But you would like him home asap.

I know its hard, but try not to muddy the waters of your relationship with your son nby adding the resentment you ahve for your feckless ex?

Do what I am about to do, go and wash your face, blow your nose, and go and have a cup of tea nad a nice snack ( I am about to have a big bowl of sugary cornflakes!)

Remember, he's still a child however loud he shouts x

aw thanks for advice. think i feel worse cos im rather lonely and feel a bit dejected.

Of course. I left work at lunchtime because i felt so rotten (see my thread on lone parents!) and I'm in the house on my own and ex-H has the kids tonight....

Be kind to him, school will be out soon, can you go adn pick him up and take him for a milkshake or a coke or whatever it is 13 year olds like and have a little chat before dropping him at his Dads?

even though you feel low and dont feel ,like it, be totally unconditional for him - he must be feeling terrible too.

got my girl comin home soon. think i leave it a few days for things to calm down. He did same thing last year but it only lasted just over a week.

think i just need to get my own head sorted!! find it hard being an older single
mum, lots of hormones flying round here as well.

Oh crikey - chin up xxx

thanks boob. just read your thread, so, chin up for both of us. lol xxx