Dating single dads.

[poshsinglemum]

There are so many single dads on Match.com. Many with very small children. Am I being unreasonable to think ''What have they done to their ex and their family?'' sorry all homourable single dads out there.

Can I just add that my baby's father and I have never been in a relationship, but he will still be a single parent when he becomes a dad next year. I don't begrudge him having a relationship with someone else as there's no way we're getting together...

Maybe there are more reasons than you think for someone being on their own with a small baby?

Actually I kind of know what you mean PSM, though I think I would prefer to date single dads as at least I would know they were ok with kids. I do worry though that if someone was like ex2, who left me when pregnant for no reason (decided we were 'not compatible', refused counselling or to even talk about it, there was no trigger for it at all except that we'd had an argument where he threw something at me so if anything I was the one who should have left) then actually they would not be a good person to have a relationship with as well, what is to stop them leaving too, if they see relationships as disposable?

NG2 I don't really agree with. People looking from the outisde at the relationship with my other ex (husband) would probably say I left him when he was a nice man (which he definitely is)- however the situation was that I moved for work (it was a very unexpected offer which was really important to my career so had to move quite quickly), he was supposed to follow with our daughter but decided not to, and then found a girlfriend who was better suited to him and moved her in so I couldn't relaly go back! We still get along and are best friends, but really I don't think he is as blameless in the relationship breakdown as his friends probably think he is! TBH though my main worry would be if a man is not amicable with his ex, it would make me think that there was more to the break up and worry that maybe he wasn't that nice underneath. I know this is unfair and I do know one guy who hates his ex justifiably (not going to go into details, sorry) but in most cases where there is nastiness there seems to be a reason- in fact if I'd paid attention the the fact that more recent ex (father of dd2) was not on good terms with his exes, I might have had more idea what to expect.

I also kind of think that dads shouldn't be dating when their children are very young (

I have to admit that I prefer not to date single dads. It's completely hypocritical I know as I'm a single mum, but just my one child makes things more complicated than a normal relationship and adding another set of children increases the complexity regarding making time to see each other, finances, developing relationships with the whole family.

I'm sure it works well in a lot of cases - I have friends who have developed good relationships with single dads and their families have merged well. But they have two lots of access to worry about, financially the man has to pay out more and they've had to move their relationship forward more quickly than they would have because it's so hard to sort out childcare for both sets of families. I'm not too keen on having to have an ex on the scene as well - when there are children involved you just can't avoid it (my ex isn't involved at all so it's much easier for a new man to get involved with my child).

I do have a DP now so it's not something I have to worry about, and maybe if he'd been a single dad I wouldn't have cared because he's the right person for me ultimately. But I wouldn't have gone out of my way to seek out a single dad.

Myonlyvice...Can I ask how old you are? The reason is that this was a common theme back when I was younger (28ish).

Childless women were not interested in taking on a single dad. Single mum's didn't want the "baggage"

Luckily things got easier once in my thirties. I guess women become more realistic and like you say, can see the hypocrisy in your stance.

At the end of the day, for every single mum, there will be a single dad.