Mum and baby groups

[Marissa1984]

Some friends/relatives have suggested going to a mum and baby group in order to meet other mums, but I'm not feeling overly keen on the idea yet, mainly a lack of confidence and an element of depression holding me back.

Ds is 10.5 weeks now - how early did you start going to these groups?

Are there groups specifically for lone parents as I don't really want to hear people's stories of how great their partners/husbands are with the kids as it is so soon since mine left that it still upsets me and brings me to tears and I don't think other mum's will want to hear my moaning and crying!

look at noticeboards at local library etc in your area. there will be mix of people. depends where you live. is tehre a lcoal community centre/sport centre/church hall?

it is good to get out and about. some groups specifically aimed at new mums/breastfeeding cafes etc. check coffee shop/cafe noticeboards. lookat local paper and call homestart/sure start.

jsut go and focus on tlaking about the baby specifically and think up a line to take if they ask about the father - a simple "he isnt around" is enough if you dont want tog et into it til you know people better.

talking about teh baby -your issues sleep feeding etc will eb teh same as any other mum

Could you speak to your midwife/health visitor? They will prob know of other single mums in your area, and then be able to tell you what groups they go to, iywim. Good luck!

I would give it a try.

I went to a group when DS was 9 weeks old and I met lots of people who were single/separated/hubbie's who worked long hours etc.

99% of people are there to meet other people :)

go for it!

If you're not so keen on mum's and baby groups how about gymborie or story time at the library?
That way you're getting out and some company but not necessarily doing the chit chat stuff.

And yes it can be tough hearing all these women moaning on about how useless/wonderful their OH is. And it can be demoralisig trying to break into the clicky groups. But you may just find a friend or two who makes it worth the effort.

I would try something like baby massage, baby yoga or baby swimming so you are doing something and it's not solely based around chatting.

Have you got a children's centre locally? I found the baby groups at mine brilliant and the staff were really great so if I really didn't feel like talking to anybody/burdening people they'd be there with a sympathetic ear.

At 10.5 weeks baby groups are pretty easy - most will have a spare bouncy chair or similar, or you can keep her on your lap. You might prefer to find an under-ones group though as once she starts rolling and crawling it can be a bit scary/risky to put a baby down on the floor where there are giant toddlers lumbering about.

I wasn't on my own when DS was that little but XP was being utterly shit TBH - and I don't remember other people's husbands/partners coming up in conversation very much at all (because I was pretty sensitive to it at the time as well)

Have you heard of gingerbread - it's a single parent's association and they run support groups etc in some areas, there may be something where you live.

Have you checked out your local mumsnet section as well?

Hi, I have been single since I was less then 2 months pregnant and my DD is 8 months old now. I have met several mums through antinatal or postnatal meet ups organized by NHS and we still meet up for a coffee or a walk. They speak about their partners rarely usually we talk about babies. It is very important to me that I can go out and see other mums with babies, exchange our experience and complements how wonderful the babies are:)

What about baby massage?
I started going to this when baby was about 3 weeks old. It's a lovely thing to do with baby and is good cos u also learn massages to help with wind etc.
Whilst you're there u might also meet some nice mums but as you're actually there to massage your baby there isn't the same pressure to chat to the other mums if u don't want to.

Check out your local SureStart centres and see what they've got goin on. I've found them to be really good

katap Did your partner leave you as soon as he found out you were pregnant? How long had you been together?