grrr just sooo pissed off

[ohsleepyone]

sorry really need to rant!

i love my ds more than my own life but i cant help being wound up i'm on my own every freaking night whilst ex has no cares or thoughts for ds, in any way at all, which is fine i dont want him around anyway(i'd rather he was a father who wanted to be there than a father who was only there because he got grief from his ex and mother ISWIM)

does any 1 else feel peeved about being alone from 7pm onwards EVERY night, my family ask about ds but never offer/make excuses not to babysit and i only actually have 1 friend nowdays (which is another depressing point) and if i got her to babysit then i'd have no1 to go out with!!

I never saw my life turning out this way and i wouldnt change it for any amount of money , i just wish it wasnt so lonely, i have read posts about being lp and lonely but they all go on about joining day groups etc, but its the evenings that really gets me down, grrrrrrrrrr!!

im sort of in your shoes, but luckily i have the help of my family , who offer to have kiddo whenever i need , and his dad does have him most weekends . but hell yes , its really lonely after kiddo is in bed and its just .. silence all damn night . my days are occupied easily ,and the day groups i went to were all very generic & dull tbh , but yeah the nights are a killer .

I love the peace and quiet in the evening tbh and I sadly spend most of my time on here and on Match.com. Join a dating agency even just for a laugh adn spend your evenings chatting to men online instead. You might even get a date. plenty of fish is free. You will definately get the chance to chat. Keep coming on here too.

I try to think of it as time spent not arguing with a bloke!

I work full time and am glad of the peace and quiet after they've gone to bed! I usually need to start ironing/floors/washing up etc. I definitely think working in the dayhelps you to be less lonely in the evening.

How old is your ds? Could you go out with him to a child friendly restaurant from time to time with your friend maybe? We have one near us that is a wacky warehouse with a nice coffee area to sit and have a drink/read/chat.

I work 3 days a week and ds was 1 2 weeks ago (feel like i'm being ott as every 1 elses dc are probably a lot older and you all do it, but thats still a whole year and i've stayed in every night bar 2, so :P)

Maybe its still early days and i'll like the peace and quiet when he gets older, but how do i get by til then??

posh do u do them dating sites? can you actually get a decent convo or is it just dirty buggers after a bit of rudeness?(thats what i auto think when people say dating sites lol)

Thanks for the feedback my lovelies! xx

I do pizza night with friends once a month where we buy takeaway pizza and have a good old chinwag. The kids can stay up for a pizza treat then off to bed and the goss gets much juicier! If you make a regular event of it when people hear what fun you're having you can invite a couple more friends - this is how our group developed and we actually went on holiday together a couple of months ago which was fabulous (i'm very lucky that xh had my ds's for 3 nights i know not everyone is so lucky).

Your ds is still very young and it's so hard for the first few years. Honestly day by day it will get easier - your ds will get more interesting and fun and less hard work to take out, you will get more offers to babysit.

Just hang in there, and keep m'netting

I'm in a similar situation. I work full time and keep my DS busy with classes in the evening twice a week and at the weekend. His evening class lasts for an hour and a half during which time I go running with my friend. I couldn't do that when DS was younger. You do gain a lot of freedom as they get older. I've also started to organise parties and invite DS friends round with the hope that it will be reciprocated. DS has even had a sleep over with friend from school and I went off to Bath with friends for the weekend. Trust me, it gets easier. Make the most of the quiet times for now, because before you know it, you'll be couriering your little one and his friends to lessons and get togethers in the evening.

This is what I do,

I have dinner with another single mum and her child in alternate Fridays, we also alternate houses and who is cooking.

Every second wednesday, we meet just after work for a quick tea, again a group of mums with children, the children play and we catch up with each other.

I have a coffee/lunch with friends on my day off, while DS is at school. It has to be d in the morning as that group of friends never do anything on evenings as they prefer to spend the time with their families.

Facebook do for the nights, I do also have long conversations with friends on Skype at least 2-3 times a week.

By the time the weekend arrives DS and I do really enjoy having a quiet time in our own.

I seldomly go out at night, but if I go out for dinner I have a very good friend who DS absolutely adores (and wants to adopt as a granny), who baby sits for me for 2-3 hrs a very small fee, in special occasions.

When I was just recently separated and DS was spending more time with his dad, I found myself in the situation that you describe (not having anyone to go out with), that's when friends without children came very handy, if planned with time we organise to go to the cinema, joined book club, classes, etc. I did set myself to actively increase my circle of friends but at the end I realised that I simply didn't have time for so much when I only had a couple of nights free here and there.

Just to say that i was in a similar position to you when my kids were toddlers and had very few friends. Look round for people in your life in a similar position with young kids and try to arrange to meet up - you won't always succeed but you often find that they will enjoy the company as much as you. It will be a slow process but you'll get there eventually.