feeling so sorry for my son

[nattybb]

hi, I dont know why i'm coming on here to talk about this but I guess I just want to know what other mums think.
I'm currently going through a divorce and its been really hard, My husband went from being my best friend and a great dad to just going out all the time, chatting other women up and spending less time with our 4 year old son.
I currently have no idea where he is, I came back from a weeks holiday with a friend and her son which he agreed to and seemed happy for us to go on as it was all paid for by my lovely friend.
My son really missed him this week and constantly asked on holiday why daddy didnt come to which i told him that he had to work, He was so excited on the plane home and had bought him loads of presents back, We got home to find the house dark, the cat mieowing loudly, no daddy, no note, nothing.
I rang his mum who said hes gone away with friends, needed time to think, I'm so furious, My little boy was devastated, he was so looking forward to seeing him, his mum wont tell me where or when hes coming back,I was so gutted for my baby when i saw his little face, i'm really upset but his mums like "whats the problem he just needed a break", I went mad at her, But what do you guys think? am i over reacting? i'm just sooo mad please tell me your views, thanks as always.

Of course you aren't over reacting. He sounds incredibly inconsiderate. Your poor son is bound to be upset about it, little children adore both their mummies and their daddies and your husband should know this. His mum sounds like she isn't willing to help matters either.

Just try and reassure your son that he'll be home soon, try not to let your anger show in front of him as you don't want him to question whether his dad loves him. But I would definitely have very strong words with your husband when he gets home, privately of course. :)

Thats' so horrible! What a selfish man, he could have left a little letter for your DS at the very least..

Its so distressing when kids get messed about, make sure contact arrangements are really clearly laid out and agreed once the divorce has gone through!

I really hope this incident isn't the shape of things to come!
x

Why did he need to get away ¨to think¨? Hasn't he just had a week apart from you and his boy? Sounds like he is being very self obsessed and self centred.

When you do get to see him, I think you need to very calmly but very clearly spell out to him what he is doing to his little boy. The least he could do is let you know he is ok and when he will be around again.

Are you still living together? If so, sounds to me like he needs to move out urgently and arrange regular contact, which he needs to stick to. That way he gets 'space to think' and you don't get his behaviour thrown in your face.

If I was his mother I wouldn't be defending him, I'd be giving him an earfull about his selfishness.

nattybb, I'm so sorry for your son. I have been in a similar situation in the past but I made the husband leave in the end and I never tell our son too much about visits in advance just incase there's a let down, then he won't get hurt. I often tell him on the day when I'm as sure as can be that it's going to happen.

Have you heard from him yet? and how's your boy?

You defo didn't over-react. Stay strong xxx

what a tosser. he ddin't need time to think he had just had time to think while you were away, he has disappeared to show you that he can do as he pleases and if you can go away so can he. complete knob.

have you rung him? if he's not answering, call your MIL and ask her to tell him taht his som is missing him desperatly and that he would love to get a phonecall from his dad to let him know everything is ok. he really needs to fix this for your son. i am so angry for you right now.

hi guys, thanks so much for all your kind messages, I have tried ringing him and his mum but neither of them are answering.
I just hope he rings his son soon, I can only make excuses for him so much, My poor little boys really been let down.
I will let you know the outcome, if he ever comes back!!. thanks again, you've all made me feel better that its not just me who thinks hes incredibly selfish.

be brave, take good care of your boy and let us know what happens xx