how to be fair at christmas?

[sincerity]

in two weeks i will have left marital home and be in rented accomodation.

So my first ever xmas as a single parent. I am worried it will be horrible as I can only imagine the big battle of who will have what time with ds aged 4.

Please can anyone share their experiences with me? and how it felt the first xmas. (am i going to be really really miserable and ruin it for my boy?) How do you be "happy" even if you feel like hiding until it's all over??

Its going to be my first xmas alone too with 3 kids 14,11 and 10. I have been dropping hints to my mum & dad (who have been amazing btw) about xmas day and as we are pretty close am hoping i get an invite! Do you have close family or friends you can spend some of the day with? I plan on making sure we have our xmas movies, choccys and pjs ready to have a chilled out xmas. Its a fresh start and I keep telling myself positive thoughts!!
Its hard to start doing anything on your own , having only split in july from a 15 yr marraige I am having to really push myself and am sure there are plenty of good and bad days ahead! There was a time when I thought we may all be able to spend the day together but now I know that was unrealistic, what terms are you on with your ex?
I am hoping ex is going to have his own (possibly with his family so the kids see them too) xmas on boxing day so they get an extra xmas..rather than feeling like they are missing out! We have not really discussed it much but I hope we can do this. He is not an xmas nut like me so I am hoping it works out.
Sorry its not really an answer to your question of what its been like as it is yet to happen

I split up with my ex in November (4 years ago) and kids were only 15 months and 3 at the time. The first christmas he came over to mine and we played happy families for the day. Kids were too young to question it really. Was ok, a bit awkward but not too bad.

Now we have moved over to a system whereas this year I will have them Xmas Eve til 11am xmas morning and he will have them 11am xmas morning til boxing day evening. And then it alternates each year. Its not ideal from my point of view, but its the best thing for the kids. I will see my family xmas eve this year so they can see the kids.

Your Ds will probably be so chuffed with all his pressies, he will be quite happy and hopefully you can caught up in it too. Have you got family or friends you can go to? and have a few drinks and get the board games or the wii out?

I hope it works out - it does get easier with time.

Luckily i don't get the problem of being totally alone Christmas day because i have DD1 and DD2 all the time as XP2 only gets supervised contact.

With DS1 and DS2, i do Christmas eve and until around 3pm Christmas day and XP1 has them until late on boxing day. This is open to change though should he decide he wants Christmas eve but it is unlikely to happen!

im hoping for the idea of xmas eve n xmas day with me and then boxing day n day after with him....but i can see him going nuts with that idea.... wish me luck...im not going to even embrace the idea until he brings it up. And definatley once I've moved out !

Ex moved out in the summer when DD was two and worked away. So I had to have him on the sofa to be there for Christmas morning. He also bought no presents so lucky that I did . As I'd always bought for everyone he assumed that everything I bought was still from both of us, DD didn't know either way so I didn't make a fuss. His family were a bit surprised not to get anything from "him" that year though.
After a crap reconciliation we're apart again and again he will be coming on the day but this time I won't let him stay (long story but lets say he doesn't behave well). He's never had DD (4 now) for any length of time or overnight or had anywhere proper to take her so she stays with me.
We've made an agreement that she stays in her home on Christmas morning so that means me putting up with him for a bit longer. Gruesome's plan is the best alternative I think.

Oh and he won't buy presents for you from your children I bet so you might have to arrange it yourself. My Mum takes DD shopping for me and I buy a magazine and a candle or something and tell DD that Santa has left it for her to give to me. Confusing but she was so upset when she thought I had nothing and I think it's important she's involved in giving.