Getting very worried about Homeless Single Mum Friend

[Kittykat13]

Hi, I posted on here before about my friend who is a single mum. I had hoped things were getting better for her, but I am getting very worried now - things have taken a bad turn over the last few days.

She has lost her job, and her rented accommodation. Her boyfriend offered to help her whilst she was in this situation, but they had a big argument and she won't live with him. Her ex was very intimidating, and I don't think she has got over him, her boyfriend found this difficult, and now they are arguing, she has left him too. I think she is depressed, the little girl seems well looked after, but my friend can't decide what to do next.

She is homeless now and is not doing anything about it - she is staying with a friend temporarily. I was thinking of asking social services for help to help her access the support she needs (like benefits and emergency housing). I don't mind doing what I can, but I don't know how the system works. Unfortuantely my family has a small rented house so there is no room here.

I thought she was seeing the council today, but she didn't go. What could I do to help?
She hasn't listened to anyone, so I am very worried about her & her little girl
Thanks in advance

you cant drag her to the council (in reality she will be placed in a b and b)

it usually takes a while for the eviction process to get her out,how come she never did anything during all this time? and did she lose her job on purpose do you think?

you can do nothing but 'be there'

She was living in a shared house, and didn't have a tenancy agreement, so she was asked to leave, it was all very casual. Then she moved in with her boyfriend but that didn't work out either

I thought she was happy with her boyfriend, but after the arguments she has left him She seems to have taken a course of inaction, perhaps it's the depression, but now she only has a few days at a friend's house, then nowhere to stay

I don't know why why she hasn't done anything, we've had lots of chats and I tried to help, she has had the time, but not the willpower :(

thanks for your reply

as a quick update, my friend is staying in her boyfriend's spare room for the time being

I had a chat with her boyfriend and I think we'll try to get her to the GP about her depression asap - he's being a friend rather than a boyfriend at the moment so I am hoping she will accept some unconditional help and the situation won't explode again.

like you say spinkledust, I can't drag her to the council, I can be there for her & help with babysitting

Tell her that you will go with her to the council.

I remember when I left my x and had to approach sw and so on, it was terrifying and overwhelming. I hate bureaucracy at the best of times! and to do it when you feel rock bottom,,,,,, tiz hard! so you are a good friend to be aware that she's hit a rough patch. I hope she gets through it. I think she might feel a bit paralysed. Like she's become a child, and literally CANT cope with the adult stuff anymore. it's all too hard and she has retreated into herself and wants or needs somebody else to sort it all out for her. I understand that. Can you meet her half way and tell her you'll down load the forms for her/sit with her while she fills them in... all of that stuff will be a massive help to her.

What vallium said.

When I was in a similar position I burried my head in the sand for a couple of months, it was all too much and I felt so utterly helpless.

kitty, i hope your friend appreciates it. i would kill for a good friend like you.

yes. single mum and registered homeless, wish there was someone looking out for me like that.

take care,and keep up the good work