How do I make myself go to bed at a reasonable time?!

[mamayaya]

Not really sleeping since H and I split 2 weeks ago.

My choice and am happy with it. Starting to discuss the whole maintenance and capital split etc now.

But I can't seem to make myself sleep! I'm normally a 10pm in bed kind of person but last night I couldn't sleep til 4 O'CLOCK and tonight I'm still up, drinking a G&T, perusing Mumsnet.

Any suggestions? I am just feeling weird about being in the bed by myself. And worried about not sleeping.

Eurgh.

And I have to go to work tomorrow. And do both nursery runs by myself. And get up at 6.30. And finish the day at 8. Niiice. (Not that this makes a particular difference to how it was when H was here, but still!!!)

if it's the internet that's keeping you up - you could install a family safety thing that blocks it after a certain time?

I know Windows 7 which I've got has one included - you can set the time to shut you out - obviously there's still the potential for you to bypass it by putting the password in, but it might before enough to kick you off to bed?

If you don't want to be in your old bed by yourself, what about sleeping in a spare bed or in the sitting room for a bit, if your sofa is comfy enough. Just to get some sleep.

Are you going to be moving or can you stay in your house? If you are staying, what about redoing your bedroom and making it your room rather than a room you used to share with somebody. Not an immediate solution though.

Don't really know what else to suggest - not great at going to bed myself!!!

oh - I wouldn't reommend the sofa option - I started that 2 years ago (had a break in the middle when we got back together briefly) and can count on my hands how many times I've slept in bed since March this year........

Can you change the furniture around,maybe buy a new duvet set, basically remove all traces of XH.

My cousin did this and said it really helped.

Yeah I second NOT sleeping on the sofa. I couldn't sleep in bed and started sleeping on the sofa just to get a couple of hours. Now I fall asleep on it every night and end up waking up around 2/3am and then not sleeping again.

I'm actually not the best person to offer advice but one of these might work for you...

1. Don't sleep on the sofa. If you feel tired go to bed, even if you then find you have to get up again as you're not sleeping.

2. If you find yourself lying in bed staring at the clock get up and do quite chores until you feel tired (like ironing) or sit and read a book (preferably something light) or do a puzzle magazine.

3. If you know you're not going to sleep then do something to wear yourself out physically (exercise video) or to calm you down (meditate/pilates)

4. If you lie in bed worrying about what you haven't done then keep a pen and paper by the bed and write it down when you think of it and then you can forget it till the morning. Try and tackle one thing on your list the next day, but keep it reasonable and manageable - you don't have to do it all the next day.

5. Make sure the temperature is comfortable. If you're cold get a hot water bottle, turn the heating up or put a jumper&socks on.

6. And if you find yourself on a slippery slope then do consider going to your doctor just to get yourself back into the sleep cycle. I went a whole weekend without sleep despite being exhausted, and those knock out sleeping pills really helped just to get back into a cycle of going to bed.

Moving the furniture around and getting a new duvet cover is a really good idea.

But also, don't beat yourself up! It's only been two weeks. You are bound to be feeling all over the place at the moment.

Perhaps set a time to come off the internet an hour or so before you would ideally like to be in bed and do something else for that hour like having a bath, or reading (I find reading excellent as not only is it relaxing, it distracts me for a bit).

If you are lying in bed not sleeping, try to stop making it about sleep - just think to yourself "I'm going to bed for a lie down now". Lying down is better than doing housework or sitting up watching telly or online, and will help you feel more rested than doing these things.

Get up and tire yourself out with mindless stuff. Tidy kitchen cupboards/paint skirting boards, anything that keeps you busy. I used to like the radio on while I was doing it.

It has the twin advantages of making you feel like a really excellent parent with clean cupboards and boring you to sleep. Win-win. That phase for me only lasted for a few weeks before sheer exhaustion got me back into a routine [hgrin].

I went through this when my marriage broke down.

I went out and bought all new bedding (EXP had cheated and I couldn't bear the thought of him having been in my sheets and hers.)

You need to get a new routine in place, maybe go upstairs at 10pm, have a bath, get into bed and read. This works for me when dp is working away.

Thank you everyone.
The above tips together with some nytol seem to have done the trick. About to watch a film then pop my 2 nytol and should be asleep by 10

Rockin saturday nights, aren't they, when you're single !

It is still early days - be kind to yourself. I find it hard to get to bed early as I am often too busy (for various reasons). Setting an alarm to GO to bed helped a bit - sometimes I ignore it though lol!

You may just have to a ccept that for the time being your sleep pattern is going to be out of kilt. Even though the split may have been something that you wanted, it does effect your body, the only thing is is o try the normal, get as much help as you can from family/friends, if you can ry and book some days off, hot bath before bed time etc...