Shall I just cut and run? Minimum amount to survive?

[loulounz]

So depressed about the whole divorce process!

Keeping it short, am entitled to equity in house, his pension (a very good one)and other lump sums (a fair amount), but am so fed up with his nastiness, lies, selfishness (the list is endless) that I am thinking of telling my solicitor that I just want all the money from the house and he can shove the rest up his b@ckside!

Don't know if I can survive on only this but just want out ASAP!

Am I being a fool - should I hang on and fight for what is legally mine for the sake of long-term security for my dd's? I will only have state pension - don't know if the amount is affected by having a lot of breaks in my work and being a SAHM? So the extra would come in handy - but by that time dd's should be able to support themselves anyway - so is it worth all the fight?

Just can't bear the thought of the fighting going on for months on end as we can't agree figures (he wants more than his fair share) and I don't know whether to just give in so this whole mess is over with?

Any advice? How much money do you need in a month to survive? I wouldn't be entitled to any benefits because of the money I would be getting -too much according to DSS!

Do NOT just cut and run! For your DDs' sake. And for yours.

This is a ploy on his behalf to be greedy.

You deserve these funds. They're not 'his', they belong to both of you.

I walked away - this was in the US - and walked right into bankrupcy a year later.

The only asset we had to divide was equity in the house. He left when our DD was a week old after many months of bullying, affairs etc. I loathed him so much I couldn't abide discussing the split and nearly didn't argue my corner. There was no question he would ever play a role in DD life. My sister very sensibly said treat it like a business negotiation I did and ended up with all the equity not just the 70% he originally proposed. You have to devolve yourself, smile on the outside when inside you are really cross it works. Instead of being angry with him I tried to make him feel guilty and think thats why I got lions share. It wasn't greed all the money was spent on buying a home in safe area for DD. When you feel like throwing in towel think of the treats that you can provide for DD in future, why should she miss out just because the current arguments are draining. Hang in there and fight.

In terms of how much to survive. I earn £40K, my mortage is very low - about £500, by childcare is v expensive. I live in London where every thing is costly. CSA give me £220 a month. Anything below £35K is not enough to survive IMO. Good luck to you