According to CSA feeding you children is voluntary

[whiteandnerdy]

OK so I'm cross and paraphrasing, never a good combination, however after paying 200 pounds of DCs school dinner money arrears over the last two terms. The CSA has finally got back to me, and tell me that paying for school dinner arrears doesn't count in anyway as maintenance, it's a voluntary payment.

So I guess that 300 pounds a month I pay to the ExP is going on something else other than feeding the children. May explain the two holidays her and her husband have had this year.

It's just the sheer gall of the CSA to say to a farther that seeing your children are fed is 'voluntary'. [raspberry and middle finger emoticon]

Eh?

If you are the NRP then your sole financial liability is child maintenance. This should either be paid to the RP directly or via the CSA.

Anything else you choose to do is therefore voluntary.

If your ex is not paying the school dinner money then thats for school to sort out with ExP.

Look at it this way. I don't think the council would accept you saying "Well I bought the school a new computer this month so I'm not paying Council tax for a few months"

Sorry, am with the CSA on this one.

If the school phones you up to say, can you pay your school dinner, and you go erm, I pay maintenance via the CSA, I expect to be paid via the RP. And they say "yeah we've phoned her she simply put the phone down on us", can you pay for the school dinner arrears we simply cannot affort to subsidise the feeding of your child. I guess I was struck down by an ill advised case of civic and parental responsibility, and should have responded by hey nothing to do with me I'm not the farther I'm the NRP farther.

To be honest I know what your saying just think it stinks,

www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/other-financial-commitments.asp

As far as your analogy goes the link above goes if you were paying the Council mortgage then they'll take it as inkind, but if it's for a computer then get stuffed?!?!

You should have just said 'no', harsh as that sounds. I don't believe that the school will let your kids go hungry, but they may well choose to involve social services to ensure that your kids are sent to school with dinner money. That might give your ex a kick up the arse.

I'm mortified if DS owes £2 of dinner money. Imagine building up £200 of debt!

Common sense has no place at all in the eyes of the CSA - the computer says "no" basically. Sympathies!

£200 over a couple of terms doesn't work out as that much. I don't think it hurts to pay extras personally, just because there is a bare minimum of maintenance set doesn't mean you absolutely cannot go over it and it also doesn't mean that you cover most of the costs of bringing up children either.

It's still going on, I've recivied the first letter from the school informing me of arrears are mounting last week.

I've been rasing ExP's son from first marrage as my own for the last 9 years, how's that for sole financial liability. I guess I should have also just told DSS, hey the state and your mother doesn't give me any financial support so I'm not going to feed you, cloth you or take you on holiday with your brothers.

Mehh, deep down I knew it was a pointless exercise contacting the CSA to be honest.

cheeseandgherkins - the fact that the OP has been paying child maintenance and the mother is going on holiday but not paying for the child's lunches means that the maintenance is not being used for the child. Why on earth would the OP be happy to keep paying her maintenance and also the food bills on top. It's crazy, but that is the world of the CSA.

If the mother was genuinely in difficulty and unable to feed the child then yes it would be reasonable for the OP to help out but this is not the situation the OP has described

CheeseandGherkins, I know I know it's not much just the other bits I DO class as 'voluntary payments' such as school trips and PGL she simply refuses to pay and I think I've paid approx 400 pounds over the last year. Which I'm not asking to be considered because I understand she may not be able to pay and I don't want the kids to miss out, but school dinners ??!?!?! it just pisses me off tbh.

allnew it doesn't mean that at all, I assume she pays the heating bills, electricity, water, food at home, clothes etc etc, all of which aren't cheap. She clearly hasn't used it for school dinners but that does not mean she doesn't feed the children at home.

whiteandnerdy have you asked her why the dinner money was in arrears? If she can't pay it then why not send a packed lunch in?

no they're not cheap, but she'd need to pay for heating bills, electricity, water, and food regardless of the child or maintenance, and receives child benefit to help towards this. If the OP is giving her £300 per month, and she's unable to pay for food but can afford holidays, then there is a problem somewhere.

It's not really "someone taking care of your child" though, is it. I don't ask DH to pay me for example if he's out for the night, or vice versa. It's parenting. The maintenance isn't a payment for childminding services, it's to cover the expenditure incurred in bringing up the child

Interesting you should say that, DS2 has started Secondary school and he's now having sandwiches. I don't mind making them on Monday mornings, though I'm not very adventours with them . However DS3 is still at Juniours and still on School dinners.

I did ask her about dinner money going into arrears, she said she thought I should be paying for the school meals and resented me not paying for them. I did remind her that I pay 300 pounds of maintenance a month, she wasn't that impressed. I did remind her I do pay for the school trips, she wasn't that impressed. I did remind her I paid her son 120 pounds for his paper round as it was paid into her bank account and she spent it, she wasn't that impressed.

Yeah Yeah I know I'm going off topic here, I guess I'm just annoyed to be honest nothing a good intake of breath won't sort out to be honest.

Riven - I have the kids every weekend and have been having them on Tuesday evenings, till I started having them over night which would have put the number of over night days up from 2.5 to 3.5. And I have then half the school holidays. Yes and I've already got the solicitor to ask if this is because she has concerns about maintenance, and if we should discuss it.

Could you live on £25.00 per week? That includes food, electricity, clothes remember your children are growing and need clothes at a ridiculous rate) heating, travel, shoes, school supplies, haircuts, days out etc.

How much do you spend on lunches every week? Do you really begrudge spending the equivalent of a night in the pub to support each child for a week?

did I miss something? Where does it say the child's mother has £25 per week to live on?

£300 a month is not £25 a week, it's £75 a week, and I personally could live very nicely on it, thankyou, and feed my children too. If it's the amount the CSA say he ought to be paying, then it is the amount that the ex ought to be able to live on, along with any wages and benefits that she WILL be getting, without racking up £200 of dinner debt! I'd be ashamed, and if she can't afford dinners, she should send sandwiches!

slug - I buy clothes, shoes, uniform, school supplies, haircuts, and as I have them everyweekend I do days out. I don't drink so I don't know how much a night in the pub would be, but I do begrudge people going on holidays to Spain and Turkey and not paying to feed my DC. Kind of makes me a little cranky.

Hey don't get me wrong slug, I know life can be hard, I was made redundant so the ExP wasn't working so I had the kids from Friday afternoon till Tuesday afternoon, hey but remember that one of those 3 DS wasn't farthered by me so I didn't get any benifits for him, and the Benifits agency said well, seeing as 4 nights and 3 night is near enough 50/50, we'll split the benifits of the other two children between the parents. So I had to live unemployed with 3 children four nights of the week, on the benifits for a single child. Clearly I cheated and asked my mum to help out, because some mothers are ACE!!!!

How did you end up with them every weekend? There's no way in hell I'd let my ex have our son every weekend. I like to spend some time with him too (that isn't spent rushing on the mundane crap of getting him ready for school, getting homework done etc).

We're wondering off into the lands of I don't know what I'm talking about here, but I've always found her relationship with the DC a little stange. It's as thought the world (and her children) revolves around her. I mean she went to Turky with her new son and husband in the summer holidays while I holidayed with the 3DS and then when she had them she hadn't enough money to do anything with them. Some some degree I understand the problem and cost of holiday with the 3DS and her new son with new husband, but still GRRRRR!

*strange

Infrm the school that their mother has financial responsibility for school meals, and that if it gets to the situation where she isn't paying them,, you advise them to contact a social worker who may then place them with you.

You can't just refuse to feed your child when you are being GIVEN the money to do so!

PoorlyConstructed - hey the ExP has sorted the getting them ready in the morning routine out. They get themselves up, make their own breakfast and then get themselves to school while she sleeps in bed with the baby, at 10 and 11, hmmm, I'm not comfortable at that age. I had the youngest DS telling me how he was told off by his mother after she woke up and found the house door open after he left for school one day.

Well I find it all a bit strange!

colditz, clearly I would have preferred the CSA to identify that school dinners are part of what is expected from the maintenance paid, but if a govenment body says hey school dinners are 'voluntary'?!?! So am I being an arse if the school asks me to pay school dinners?

Mehh, I'll have a think about it ... need to vent first

Colditz, I was calculating per child (sad ex maths teacher)