cannot imagine ever being in relationship again!

[single1ds]

thats it really, i feel like my confidence is zilch. i have been told by others i have everything going for me but as you may have seen by my other posts i just dont feel in a good place. well, thats because i am not. looming divorce coming although have been burying my head in the sand.
i was pretty when younger, although dont feel it now, im 34. went swimming with ds today and gorgeous dad there with his ds kept looking, but i might be seeing things that arent there. i just have no confidence other than at work. tend to keep my head down and need someone to "bring me out" of my shell. cant see me getting there. as for ever sleeping with anyone again i think there is zero chance. :-(. dh had no interest after seeing me have difficult birth :-(

I have nothing constructive to add other than I feel your pain!

I have been a single parent since ds was conceived and can't ever imagine anyone wanting to be with me.

How old is your ds? Are you able to go out and about in the evenings to socialise?

I've been out tonight with a friend and it's nice sometimes to be out with other grown-ups and not have to think about all the responsibilities that you have.

You're so young - 34.... and just one child (although I don't think it would matter if you had 4). I know it's hard to feel confident but I'll bet you've got loads going for you. You have a child, you have a job, you care and have the balls to expose your vulnerabilities - in my book that means your a decent person. I know I don't know you, but everyone has something to give and we're all beautiful to someone in some way. Why shouldn't you be attractive to other men - I'll bet the guy in the pool was admiring you as you suspected and why shouldn't he? Please don't continue with the negativity - get some help to rediscover who you are and just how wonderful you are. I'm 39 and spent years feeling I was undesirable and I wish I hadn't left 'me' in that state so long. It's a short life and we all deserve to be happy - yes, even you. I'd go to my GP for counselling or if you can afford it, pay for private therapy. What price can you put on your self esteem? Good luck.

nothing of use to add here - except i cant imagine it either, tho have tried but doomed to failure it seems - guess i was meant to be single lol :o

Hi
thanks for your replies. i am feeling a bit better, getting addicted to the gym and classes and it is really keeping me going. i know you might laugh but i can run for 10 mins on treadmill none stop at 8km/hr which for me is an achievement. i am now 10st 4, so have lost 4 stone since having son and only another 1 stone to get back to what i was.
bettiboo, your lovely words and encouragment nearly made me cry, i wish the day would come when i can just "Let go" but i am a MUCH better than i was. i honestly dont know how i have got through the last 15 months. i am trying to be more positive and change the way i think using CBT self help website. its not easy. and after the words of encourgement i am going to finish degree, just waiting for syllabus to come through from previous uni to get credits for OU. but think i will try and opening 10 point course to just see how it goes. dont think i can manage much more especially if going to be going through divorce. i wish i had the balls to just go and divorce him.

How amazing. You've lost all that weight (I've given up on that extra stone -I like my food too much), it's great to exercise and I remember that feeling of being able to run more than a few feet - I've done a 10k now and seriously I could only do a few feet to begin with! Good for you for finishing your degree, it's hard work but you'll have a great sense of achievement when you've completed it. You sound a lot like me - and I'm wonderful! Good luck xxx